Wednesday, February 5, 2014


I read years ago that the average life of a blog is 2 years. I would look up when I started this blog, but that would require...doing something, and frankly I don't wanna.

I looked up my page, and the first listing was a teenager's Pinterest. Wait. What??? Some teenager, evidently, has created a Pinterest profile called "Don't Eat the Green Jell-O." Long time readers (where ever you are, mazel tov) will recall that my initial incarnation was the very same. Eventually I changed it to EAT the Green Jell-O, as in Drink the Kool Aid, become one of the cool kids, etc.

Now, because I'm a classy lady, I'm above being annoyed by teenage shenanigans. God knows that between texting their friends, chemistry homework, bad skin, and probably listening to TERRIBLE music, they have enough problems. HOWEVER. Let's get some shit straight.

I am the OG. That's Original Gangster, for those of you too young to remember when Doctor Dre invented rap. Or who have never seen Goodfellas (making the sign of the cross). Basically, I invented titles involving green jell-o. I am sure that your Pinterest is very...jazzy and whatnot. I am sure that you're a lovely human. But I invented it when you were still mad at your mom for not washing your distressed jeans. I *am* a mom, and I wash my OWN distressed jeans. Boom. Shit just got real.

This makes me realize several things:

1. I have neglected my blog for too long.
2. I may need to alter my blog.
3. I need to chill out with my Keurig coffee. (That's unrelated.)
4. Teenagers should get jobs.

I've been busy as of late. I am writing, for a living, again. We've been working on home improvement. One word: wainscoting.

Now it looks like I need to get all up in my blog and see what is going on. I can't exactly sue Betty Teenage Pinterest for her copyright infringement (can I?), but I think we can all agree that I was here first. Green Jell-O is *my* street corner, and you just showed up wearing the wrong do-rag.

You're welcome, Internet. I'm here to save you.

Comments, questions, has the Internet sent you to the wrong jell-o destination?