Tuesday, September 25, 2012

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, D-A-Y!, or, Disjointed and I Know It

While you're still rubbing your bleary eyes and hoping someone remembered to buy new coffee filters, Readers in Munich, I'm listening to the sweet song of a new aerator merrily churning plugs of dirt out of my lawn. I'm listening because I'm not doing the aerating. I couldn't care less if my lawn has enough air in it. Honestly, I don't care if the lawn has lawn in it. Crabgrass is green too, I can attest. (That's because I'm waiting for the money from my not-yet-written book and movie deal to roll in so I can hire a landscaper.)

As things stand, The Man is the resident landscaper on duty, and he takes great delight in doing various things to our lawn. Aerating, re-seeding, fertilizing and agonizing over the weeds that creep in from our one neighbor's lawn. The lawn = The Man's natural domain. The library = mine.

I couldn't give a fracking FIG, Diligent Word Art Fans, about renting a snazzy shiny aerator and punching hundreds of holes into my yard. I am FAR more interested in the other Home Projects planned = moving the counter-top into the kitchen and reclaiming my garage for Tom Cruze.


I wrote that on Saturday morning, but the guys who came over to help haul 500 pounds of dazzling concrete into the kitchen showed up and I had to move the kitchen table. And helpfully direct them.

Then, once they'd painfully lowered the counter onto the waiting island, I told them that they'd placed it the wrong way. They had to flip it around. I offered them donuts. The good news is that The Man actually listened to my wisdom and didn't try to do it with just one other guy. There were 4 men and it was still clearly an effort. Thusly, we have a lovely counter and The Man doesn't have any new hernias. That I know about.

Then yesterday, The Man cleaned out the garage and finally, my beloved Cherry Bomb/Tom Cruze has a home! No rain, or sleet or snow...oh wait, that sounds like the post office creed. Well anyway, yay garage!

UPDATE part II: I am going to finish and post this one if it kills me! It's getting all disjointed - what else is new - but I have to go and be a V for Volunteer again with all the super-involved helicopter moms. Lucky luck girl I am!

Stay tuned for the post about a fabulous tattoo shop!