Monday, August 27, 2012

Ding Dong the Wreck is Dead!

If the Crappy American SUV were a person, I would have to go old-school Italian and hire some professional mourners - mainly because I'd be WAY too busy eating chips and queso and bugging someone to put on some MUSIC already!

It's dead, and by dead, I basically mean gone from my LIFE and although it ran as of last week, it's no longer my PROBLEM, amigos, if it runs with strange noises from the transmission-y region. I haven't been this giddy to see a car fade into the sunset since the Bitchy German Luxury Car went off with a lovely young couple who are probably busy kicking that car's side-panels as we speak.

The CASUV (for short) though, now that car? I've been waiting to say goodbye for a long time. Since we put in the second engine (let that sink in), since we broke down in a dealership lot, since it leaked vital fluids all over my driveway.

"Is there a trick to opening it?" asked the guy at the dealership.
"Yeah, you have to open the back door and lean through to the front. It looks REALLY stupid. I do it every day," I replied.

We traded it in on a new Chevy Cruze. I think we paid extra for sparkly red. I don't even care. I JUST realized I should have named her Dorothy, after the one from Kansas, but the kids already named her Cherry Bomb. I will, occasionally, refer to her as Tom Cruze. Of *course* I will.

The thing you should take away from this post is that I will no longer regale you with my antipathy toward the CASUV, and that I'm also going to work on a new blog entirely about my cats. I'm not sure if it will be cool, or just make me look more dangerously unhinged. Time will tell!

Until then, I will now be enjoying my mid-life crisis in my sparkly red new car. That has turbo. Embrace that concept - it has turbo! WHEE!

Comments, questions, is red your feng shui power color?