Monday, January 9, 2012

Real Life vs. Movies, Take 154

I saw a preview for a scary movie (see also: movie that I will not watch, or that I will watch only under duress, i.e., under a blanket after consuming copious amounts of rum) and it involved a really scary old gothic Victorian house. As they always do.

It led me to think, why, in movies, do characters always react like this: "Why look, George! A very affordable gothic Victorian in the middle of nowhere! Such a reasonable price, and we'll have plenty of time to fix it up with our income from lucrative-yet-vague jobs!"


In *real life* we'd all react like this: "Jesus Christ Helen, do you really think we could afford to fix that place up? At that price, it's probably full of rotting corpses in the basement and the walls will start bleeding the second you move in. Totally fucking haunted. I haven't seen any Jesuits for miles, so we'd be totally screwed. Let's get our asses to the car before we're swarmed by bees, Amityville style."

Real Life:

Just something to think about. When you're avoiding your basement because you made the mistake of watching one of these movies. You're welcome.

Comments, questions, not the basement!