Monday, November 21, 2011

The Scarlet Woman. (Not me.)

The saga with the Library Fascists continues. I've avoided paying my millions of dollars in fines (that I got for being a good mother and getting 500 books for my kids to read - and not realizing I hadn't renewed in time) and I was thrilled to get a Nook for mah birthday. Unfortunately, my library won't even let me get an e-book if my riDONKulous fine isn't paid. SADNESS.

Thus I was reduced to boning up on my classical literature, because it's FREE. (Picture me saying that in a British accent for added flavor.)

I read 'The Scarlet Letter' - which a BILLION high school kids have read, but which Your Favorite Former English Major had somehow avoided. Along with the Shakespeare class - it was weird, it just somehow worked out that way. Unfortunately, I couldn't dodge math in the same way. BOO.

I learned an important lesson, Friends; while you can rely on popular culture for fun new catchphrases (and pressure to watch the 'Shore), you can't rely on popular culture for an accurate interpretation of classical literature. Weird.

I learned the same lesson after reading Uncle Tom's Cabin. Go ahead and read it, and if you don't come away thinking that being called an Uncle Tom should be a compliment, you haven't read it right. (Uncle Tom was a Christ figure. You don't insult someone by calling them Jesus, am I right?) (Seriously, this theory is henceforth copyrighted © will possibly end up as Your Favorite Writer's master's thesis.)

So.

I read A Scarlet Letter thinking that the story would be all about the fallen woman and society judging her...which it was...for about five seconds. The rest of the story was about the evils of revenge. Which? Revenge = one of the main traits of all things Sammo. Sorry, Mr. Hawthorne, in the event of betrayal, I employ the concept of the Drowning Pool song: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor. (Even though they were only talking about a mosh pit - I'm pretty much talking diabolical homicide. Or assault. Or whatever I could get away with using an alibi.)

Once again, classical literature 1, Sammo 0.

Then, luckily, my mom came through and I used her log-in to download some e-books. Suck on THAT, Library Fascists! I'm back to fun popular novels that teach me NOTHING. Just the way I like it.

Comments, questions, reading anything good?

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