Monday, October 3, 2011

I May Never Eat Graham Crackers Again, or, Yay High School Biology!

This weekend, I was minding my own business, finishing up Princess's bath, when Casanova came running up the stairs, clearly crying.

"Mommy! You should have not bought those graham crackers - they have MAG-A-NATS"

I'm sorry, they have WHAT?!

I went down to find The Man all in a tizzy, pointing at some crumbs and half a graham cracker. Some *MOVING* crumbs. And I'll add this again, HALF a graham cracker.

The mag-a-nats were Casanova's attempt at "maggots" - which the moving crumbs were not, but they were clearly larvae of SOME kind, which is gross beyond belief.

The grossest part? The Man only got involved in the boy-child's snack when Casanova reported "Daddy, my mouth is tickling."

OH. HELL. NO.

So, um, my kid ate some freak worms from some graham crackers.

Luckily, my brain referred back to my high-school biology class (or zoology)(or AP bio)(whatever) and I remembered that there are always a certain amount of gross bug stuff involved in food processing. I mean, it's FOOD. They can't eliminate every bug, or every bug egg. Otherwise, we'd be eating poison and that sure isn't good either, frankly.

I also remembered that humans can eat bugs and probably not need a rush trip to the ER, although that was honestly because I saw a few episodes of the not-so-sadly not-on-air-now show Fear Factor.

Upon further inspection, even the unopened packages had....hitchhikers. And to ensure you will *NEVER* want to eat graham crackers again? They were going into the holes of the graham crackers. EWWWW. Just. That's disgusting.

They don't even expire until next year, so THAT wasn't the issue either. The nice people at the graham cracker company are sending me coupons. For the record? All their contact people sounded way grossed out too.

You bet your sweet ass it's gross.

I'll stick with living on Crystal Light, 1/8th of a can of Coke Zero and/or highly-washed lettuce.

Comments, questions, how gnarly is THAT?!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad you posted your story. I was having a snack of graham crackers with peanut butter. The package had not been open before now. I was snapping the crackers in half. One of the uneaten halves had a crumb that was moving. Turned out it was a little worm or larvae. Needless to say, I was done with my snack. Gross!! Just threw out the rest.

Sammo said...

Definitely gross. Now I check my flour-based products - beats eating something icky! lol