Thursday, July 21, 2011

Ta Daaaaa! and Other Good News

Yesterday, Readers, FedEx got their shit together and delivered mah netbook to the post office, who then delivered it to me. I spent most of yesterday afternoon shouting "why are you offline?! You HAVE a signal!" and "Damn you Internet Explorer!!!" but after working for about 5 hours to uninstall their crappy anti-virus and to download Firefox and my favorite free anti-virus, I'm pretty much back in black.

And once I figured out how to widen my screen, so the font size wasn't .5, the migraine went away and I could read without putting on Mamaw bifocals. Win!

Sadly, the signal strength is weak from the High Wingback of Power, but I'm at the kitchen table with some low-acid coffee, so I'll take what I can get.

Oh, and I ordered a pretty bitchin' netbook skin from Hong Kong, so there's that.

The other big news at La Maison de Sammo is that we sold the Bitchy German Luxury Vehicle! SWEETNESS, am I right? No more trips up to the Overpriced Import Repair Shop because we're getting a mystery code about our emission sensors. THAT little issue cost a pretty penny = no college fund for the Children of the Corn. Sorry kids, we had to fix Daddy's German "driving experience."

I drive Princess to school in the Crappy American SUV, so we'll need another vehicle pretty soon. Always practical, I voted for this:

Why yes, Chiclets, that *IS* a Subaru Wrx Sti! Miss Turbo, if you're nasty. And before you start singing "low-ri-DER" to me, or calling me Vin Diesel, let me just add things like this:

All wheel drive. A fast car that you don't have to stick in the garage during dirty winter blizzards! WIN!
A back-seat for the kids that is bigger than the BGLC's.
Fun guages!
Did I mention turbo?
Three words: carbon. fiber. hood.

As you know, my over-abundance of testosterone makes a car like this a natural. Not to mention that I can then say things like "did you add the blow-off valve?" and/or "are the Brembo brakes stock?" FUN. I've also liked this particular fast-n-furious since Mommy was a we 17 year old sprite.

Since The Man sold my boyfriend, how else am I to appropriately enjoy speed? Exactly. And speed with AIRBAGS is a very responsible Mommy decision, no?

I'll let all y'all know how this car search turns out, but given that The Man will have to teach me to drive stick, um, I'll be a passenger for a bit.


Me: Dude, do you not *remember* me on a bike?!
Him: It's way easier in a car. I'll show you.
Me: I do NOT want to trash a clutch on our new car trying to learn.
Him Well we'll learn in the living room.
Me: Wha...? How will we do THAT?
Him:... I don't know, we'll get some pedals or something.

I can totally see me practicing shifting with books as pedals and a spatula as my stick shift. AWESOME. I'm sure this will go swimmingly.

Updates to follow! Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Comments, questions, what's your ideal ride?