Thursday, July 14, 2011

Not a Member of PETA (anymore) but....

After Saint Apollo went to the Great Beyond (God-rest-his-soul-amen), and when I'd finally stopped sniffling every single time I saw a giant tan dog of some sort, I thought about getting a new dog. To the utter shock and awe of all my friends - mainly because they'd heard me rant "I'll never have a dog again!" all Scarlett O'Hara God-as-mah-witness style, shaking my fist at the sky.

So naturally, when I began to lurk on Craigslist and the rescue sites, it was a bit....confusing.

But when the washer was going strong one day, and Casanova wandered into the laundry room only to come out and say "I thought Apollo was drinking his water!" I decided, THAT is it, we're getting a new Dog Friend.

And thanks to the magic of Craigslist (*jazz hands!*) we found Mia, the small, dainty girl mastiff. See? Adorbs. She has her rope "chewy" and is all "WHAT, a girl can't get any rawhide up in this beotch??"

She's been a good fit for our family, despite the utter lack of enjoyment by our Obese House Cat. Observe. Here you'll see him tucked inside the doorway to the basement, where he can make a quick get-a-way from the dog (who is determined that they will Play Together, which interests the cat not a'tall).

(I hope you'll ignore our *fantastically* gross baseboards - they were damaged during the Great Flooring Re-Do of 2011 and we haven't repainted yet. Painting = suckfest.)

I should also point out that although I've become all Calm-Assertive Dog Whisperer, I am still, at base, a licensed Cat Person. Even as I saw the picture of mah kitty cat, I'm all "OOOOOH, I want to pet your fat head!" Cats are awesome. Dogs are too codependent, yet occasionally fun to walk. Unless there's a bunny in someone's yard because then? I get a detached shoulder and am most certainly NOT calm, nor assertive. I'm all "NO! DOG! OW!" and that's not exactly Cesar Milan approved.

Aaaaanyway. I credit Craigslist for being full of total *Awesome* (except when it entices serial killers. Then, not so much) - and Mia's former People Pack were very nice, just allergic. They weren't happy to give her up, but the lady wasn't having luck with allergy shots. I had checked out rescue sites and shelters, but I felt it was pretty lucky to land on an ad with "Female English Mastiff, have to re-home due to allergies." I spent enough time on the 'net to know that mastiffs are rare, so I was happy to have it work out.

The downside is that I now have a compulsion to check Craigslist and I see all the sad, sad "re-homing" or "looking for my forever home" posts. (Along with an absolutely freakish amount of people who "re-home" tarantulas. Guess what, tarantulas HAVE homes. In the desert. In creepy spider holes. Pets are animals that for better or worse have become socialized and rely on people for their well-being and food, and give love and happiness in return. Spiders are hideous bugs that eat other hideous bugs and have the consciousness of a sack of flour. What does all that mean? = Not. a. pet. A creepy accessory to show your girlfriend. That's what. I've known plenty of cool people with spiders and/or snakes, but I still don't have to think the spider/snake in question is cool.)

What's the worst are the people who are listing their animal because "I just don't have time for him/her anymore" - if it's a cat, how much time, exactly do you think a cat requires? Seriously? A cat wants some nice wet food on a plate, preferably twice a day, some catnip every now and again, a litter box, a pleasant armchair and the occasional scratch under the chin. Now a dog, at least that makes a weeeee bit more sense, since they need more attention (being co-dependent and all) and go outside to pee. Given that you GOT a pet, at some point you had "time" for it, Busy Beaver. Now you're so busy and you just have to get rid of it. Really?! Are you the president? No? Oh I see, you just suck. The president has time to walk his dog. I think. Or he has people for that....but he doesn't list the dog on Craigslist. Then he'd have weirdos showing up at the White House and be all "Damn, I can't believe this idiot was a no-call/no-show." It would slow our entire country down.

How about this one: "moving and new place won't take animals" - well hate to tell you Cochese, but Mommy grew up in a college town and there were animal restrictions EVERYwhere you wanted to live. I paid *dearly* on the pet deposit for my fat black cat to live in my first apartment. Then I smuggled in my crotchety Siamese and my angry fluffy girl cat. When my lease was up, the two boy kitties stayed together and came with me to my mom's while I was in between apartments, and the angry fluffy girl cat went to my ex's mom's with him. (Where she may live to this day for all I know, angrily peeing on people's prized possessions.)(She got by on her adorable fluffiness and not her loving temperament.)

My point is that if you have a pet, you find a way to live somewhere with them. I get that there are circumstances, but too often people just don't want to deal with the responsibilities of having an animal after the novelty wears off. That's why the town I grew up in, said college town, has a ton of animals every spring - when the students leave for the summer and don't want the pets they got on a whim.

It's douchebaggery. Period.

I'm not a member of PETA (anymore)(I quit being vegetarian too - I really hate beans) but I love animals and they are so awesome when so many people suck so much. Just try to think a little before you put your best furry friend up on the internet or in a shelter. Oh and while I'm on the subject, spay and neuter your pets AND free Tibet. This concludes my personal opinion rant.

Comments, questions, who's your furry friend?