Friday, July 8, 2011

May/December....or something like that

I have no idea why people call relationships that have one older person "May-December" relationships. I mean, I get the concept, (I'm adept at that sort of thing) *but* I think it's silly. And, since I'm sort of *IN* one, I totally think we need a new term or just no term a'tall.

The Man is a whopping 11 years older than I am. I know, right? He totally scored.

I don't think about it - he's The Man, and I'm me and together we try to keep the Children of the Corn from killing us and/or each other. The end.

Sometimes it crops up though, when he got his 25 year class reunion notice. Yup, it's coming up Friends. I think we might be going, even though The Man bounced around so much he attended about 4 different high schools and didn't even graduate from the one that invited him.

Apparently, in the Golden Days of Yester-Marriage, The Man and his ex had issues with each others' high school relationships - but given that they were both young and silly, (not to mention peers) it makes a lot more sense. I explained that I just find it all adorable. If I have to worry about cougars getting frisky, well, I should jog more. Plus? When he was busy listening to 80s love songs and going out on dates, Your Favorite Writer was rocking crayon mastery skills in first grade. Try *that* on for size!

I just love the entire reunion concept. I mean, we all go to see who got fat, who got divorced, who ended up rich or not, or a crackhead or in an institution. And then, when told of Jane Doe's new job as an escort, to add things like "..well, I always THOUGHT.." blah blah blah. We all have to pretend we're very happy and successful and wonderful and our children aren't really heathens and we don't really drive a Crappy American SUV or have a broken down Bitchy German Luxury Car and/or a curfew because our sitter has to get home before 2 am.

Let's be honest, THAT shit is what makes reunions worth it. That and the "remember when" conversations. It's much more fun when you have a Corona and a nice appetizer vs. a message on your Facebook wall.

My 15 year is coming up in another year or so, and as K.Jo (who promised to be my plus-plus 1) said "we have time to get it in gear!" because Your Favorite Writer has THINGS to accomplish before then. Like convincing The Man that the 'tox is a legit life expense. (What, you thought I meant getting my fictitious fiction-book published and going on Ellen?!)(It's alllll about the 'tox.)

So be me a younger wife (not trophy wife because he isn't rich and I'm not Megan Fox), the 25 year should still be fun. Although if I have to sit through too much of the 80s, I may just make a List of Demands before my reunion next year...

And it will make him suffering through the 90s music all the more fun. Age ain't nothing but a number. (And that sentence had wayyy too much of the double-negative action.)

Comments, questions, what's your age?