Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I Am Not Donna Reed

When I was a kid, Nick at Nite showed old Donna Reed episodes. In the early Casa de Sammo, it was either appropriate Nick shows or Educational Programming a la Nova. (Pretty sure I was the only kid explaining the big bang theory at the bus stop. Hopefully.)

I marveled at how Donna zipped around her immaculate house in her heels and pearls, joyously baking perfectly-formed pies and dazzling people with tortes. My mom said that her mother had worn pearls and heels too, back in the day. Of course, my grandparents also had a maid and spent a lot of time at Ye Olde Country Club, where my grandmother played bridge and drank wine. (Win!) (My mom was busy wearing flowing peasant shirts and riding protest buses down to Alabama with my dad.)

I learned later (and not just courtesy of the 'Stones) that the housewives o' the late 50's era were so peppy and loved tidying up and baking mostly because they were all dosed on prescribed uppers. And they were thin. Double Win! (According to my mom, her mother wasn't a speed freak, but a lot of other housewives were.)

I don't, er, clean so much. I'm waiting for my maid-country club membership-lunching phase to start. Hello? Anyone with me? I'll buy the pino grigioooooo....!

When I spent some time at K. Jo's house recently though, I got home and realized several things: the maid isn't going to start anytime soon (damn her eyes), K. Jo's house was quite spiffy, and something is funky in the pantry. I got to cleaning yesterday. I'm pretty proud of it.

I also found the blackened potato that was trying to plant roots in my laminate flooring. EW.

Today, my goal is to clean out the cabinets, so that when I open them looking for O'Charley's coupons, stuff doesn't fall down and spear me in the eye hole. Mental note: reduce number of scissors.

Maybe it'll go faster if I crack out mah pearls and fancy heels.... because I'm pretty sure the doctor won't go for my "it worked for Donna Reed" argument to get some legal speed.

Comments, questions, is your house fresh and tidy?