Monday, March 14, 2011

Sunday Night Special

Must remember: Sudafed and/or rum affects my Facebook status updates. See also, the following status update for evidence:

Two things: would love to know what was up with the cop pursuit through mah 'hood and why Gary Busey is so crazy. Note: Hopefully unrelated.

Last night, I was sitting on the couch, happily engrossed in my daiquiri and Celebrity Apprentice (which we watch solely for the entertainment value provided by Gary Busey) when we heard sirens. I assumed they were coming from a nearby road beyond the woods. I assumed wrong, because when I looked out my window, I could see red and blue strobes flashing through the cul de sac beyond our pond.

The Man went out to our porch and said he saw them go past on the main entry road twice, and I saw them loop through the cul de sac again. Police pursuit! Being the enterprising monkey I am, I logged onto the site that lists police and EMT runs in our city. Nothing! WHAT?! Now how am I supposed to know what was going down!

Damn.

Then, like anyone else distracted by his or her internet connection, I got on Facebook and posted that gem. Unsurprisingly, no one has had any insight. I mean, I think I *do* know what's up with Gary Busey, and it's the HIGHLY technical term known as "burnout" or as some people here in Indiana might say "burnt" - which I object to, but only on grammatical terms.

So we finished watching Celebrity Apprentice, and while I didn't ever learn why the POlice were chasing someone through my 'hood, I did learn some things. Such as:

1. If I make a daiquiri with cheap rum, I end up feeling like I'm at a nail salon thanks to the odor of ethanol or petrol or whatever is in cheap rum. And it takes a LOT of whipped cream to overcome cheap rum. (Hard, but not impossible.)

2. Donald Trump's son looks like him, only shorter and more like an imp. As The Man noted, a very very rich imp. Duly noted.

3. Gary Busey takes his craft VERY SERIOUSLY. Even when he's only in a made-up character for a pizza selling challenge.

4. If I saw Gary Busey throwing pepperonis and telling me I'd be SAVED if I ate his pizza, I'd immediately take a Buspar and check myself into a stress clinic, assuming The Worst (my imminent psychotic break) was occurring.

5. It's probably NOT a good idea to go out to your porch/driveway to watch a police chase in action.

6. I had no idea HOW VISCERALLY I dislike Richard Hatch. And yet respect his argument style. Verbal Assassin!

7. Nikki Taylor, former supermodel, has a pretty wicked arm sleeve tat. Yowza.

8. Cheap rum daiquiri + dirty daylight savings time = headache.

9. I hate hate HATE daylight savings time. It's L A M E. I liked it much better when my state was all I'm not changing SHIT! But now we do. Thanks to our short and TOTALLY uncharismatic governor. PS. He wants to be president. Don't let him. He fucked up my morning schedule twice a year FOREVER.

What did YOU learn last night during tv time? Hopefully you didn't learn it while drinking bad rum. Be smarter than Your Favorite Writer, it isn't hard.

Comments, questions, what's your Sunday night routine?

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