Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Man Does it Again

I may have mentioned The Man's outstanding cop-mojo. I'm not really sure how it happens, other than Superhero skills; that's the only rational explanation. Basically, The Man gets out of more tickets than anyone I've ever seen.

It's not like he gets stopped for speeding on a daily basis or something - but over the last eight years, he's been stopped enough for me to see his crazy cop mojo in action.

I'm a girl. I'm a fancy girl. I usually am all nice and smiley and I don't cry when they talk to me (okay, well that one time when I was 16) but I have STILL gotten a ticket. Why? Because I was stopped by the one cop in my hometown that I *didn't* go to high school with.

The Man though? It's nuts. They usually end up swapping war stories and high-fiving. I've seen it several times and it always amazes me. I'm all "YOU SUCK" because if I can't get out of tickets, well, NO ONE should. This is my logic.

But yesterday, well that was my FAVORITE cop mojo story yet.

The Bitchy German Luxury Car has been in the shop for over a week. The Man had been side-swiped on the highway a couple weeks prior; it bent the BGLC's front fender and scraped the wheel all up and made it ride funny. The other car looked worse. The other car was a Volvo. Suddenly I like the BGLC better.

Aaaanyway, so we'd been through that whole "oh your car should be ready" thing and then drove up to the Fancy City where of course the BGLC fix-it-shop is located, only to find that the BGLC was still being massaged with rare oil from freshly-squeezed puffer fish and wouldn't be ready until the next day. Maybe.

Enter: The Problem.

I have to pick up Princess at 11:45 in the Crappy American SUV. The Man had a very important appointment at 11:00. Whatever would we do?

The Fancy Import Fixer Shop said, no problem, they'd help out. They picked up The Man from our house and let him drive their Bizarre American Boxy Truck Thing to his appointment. Problem solved!

So The Man was zipping through yonder north Fancy City, land of the round-abouts and speed traps when he realized he'd zipped right past a cop car. Oops. The cop car pulled out behind him, then closed in....finally WOO WOO, lights on!

The Man was driving a car that wasn't his, with the registration in someone else's name (that he probably didn't even remember) and on his way to an appointment. The Man watched the cop approach from his car, the cop's hand hovering near his belt.

Then my husband rolled down the window, turned his head around and said, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

The cop replied, laughing, "What the hell are YOU doing here?!"

It was his buddy from the Air Force, roommate from their shared trip to South Korea, and now a cop up north. The last time The Man had seen him was last summer at our house warming party.

The Man explained about his appointment and how the BGLC was in the shop and he was driving a loaner. His cop buddy said that he'd been meaning to call us so we could all meet up with him and his wife and some friends to go out.

And that was that.

My favorite "hey I got pulled over today" story EVER.

He got no ticket, and I'll have to get a sitter and break out the bar jeans and eye glitter. Win/win! (And don't you say a THING about eye glitter. It isn't optional when I go out, it's mandatory.)

Comments, questions, what's your best getting out of a ticket story?