Wednesday, January 12, 2011

These Boots are Made for Walking Calling a Cab

Anyone who knows me, knows that at least once a day week, I'm embroiled in a bitter Mexican Stand-Off with a junior verbal assassin of the Kindergarten variety. This past weekend we had just such a standoff.

It began when I told Princess to turn off the X-Box. She refused. Off it went. She threatened dire violence and I sent her to her room. She came out of the room. She went back into the room. She screamed, threw a shoe at the door, etc etc. I wondered idly how much rum was left in my pantry.

I went back to check on her and found her writing. Usually it's gems like "I hate mom!" or a picture of a smiling lady with an X through her head and the phrase "No Mom" across the top. She's all V for Vendetta against moms around here.

"What are you writing?" I asked.

"How do you spell 'taxi'?" She replied.

We spent a minute sounding it out. Then she informed me she was running away, and would need the taxi to drive her. She had a plan, it seemed. So she showed me her picture.

Mistakenly thinking that she was holding a bowling ball because we had plans for a friend's birthday bowling party the next day, I asked if that's what she had in her hand.

"NO! That's the thing people carry when they run away. It's on a stick!"

Oh. I see. She drew a hobo bag with the stick. You'll notice the polka-dots. She's very detail oriented.

You'll also notice our Gigantic Fat Cat is going with her, happily, it seems. I told her that our cat would not, in fact, like riding in a taxi. He likes to be where the food is. (If I had it to do over again, I'd TOTALLY name our cat Sam Kinison, in honor of the late comedian's routine about people living in a desert and needing to "GO WHERE THE FOOD IS! It's A DESERT! THERE'S NO FOOD THERE!")(My cat wants to be wherever food is. It's his M.O.)

And you'll also notice at the top she tried to sound out the word "funny" because I was muffling my laughter. I couldn't help it. The hobo-stick sent me over the edge.

She got all Joe Pesci on me.

"OH! You think it's FUNNY?! Is it FUNNY?!"

Although, instead of shooting me in the foot, thank God, she just aggressively wrote "Funne" at the top of her drawing. Perfect.

And in the end, she decided she'd really just rather stay in her room, and once she apologized, head downstairs to play leggos with her brother. They might not have leggos on the mean streets after all.

(But I still wouldn't put it past her to lead the Revolution.)

Comments, questions, get any nice art from YOUR kid lately?


Michael said...

Absolutely priceless.

You did point out to her there's no place to plug in an XBox in the park, right?