Friday, January 21, 2011

The Internet Isn't Good for People With Short Attention...

Oh! Sorry. I was distracted by eBay and their AWESOME selection of sunglasses. Why sunglasses, you ask? Well. I often sit on them. So. Wouldn't exactly make sense to buy a hot pair of D&Gs that will soon meet with the wrong side of my jeans. Instead I buy DG, which EVERYONE knows are a total pretender to D AND G, but whatever. They're also only 10 bucks. Win/win!

The only disappointment I had with this brilliant sunglasses plan was when I got one of the pairs that I SWEAR said it was bedazzled in rhinestones and instead they were just divots that were not rhinestones, you know, like in kids' jewelry. NOT THE SAME. I was crushed. Then I ate some cheetos.

But it's always when I'm trying to be all "I'm going to work on mah writings!" that I get distracted by Facebook and then a comment thread about Biggest Loser and I realize I've wasted all my precious work time and have to quit to do laundry or we'll all be wearing capris and wife beaters.

Good thing I didn't have The Internet when I was in college. Well, not at my first apartment. Then again, I didn't have basic cable either, so I only had four channels. One time the news was on, and they were all "do gays cause the apocalypse" and I'm all WTF yo, and I realize that dirty dirty Pat Robertson had hijacked my television and it wasn't a REAL news show, it was his fake news show. Mental note: CCN is NOT the same as CNN. Then I turned it off until Buffy came on. Buffy was pretty much the best thing about my 4 channels. The episode when Angel died to save the town? I still cry.

And I didn't really need The Internet to be all distractable....I played computer Mah Jong instead of typing my BRILLIANT college literary word art. It was even better if it was a non-English Major class because non-English professors were pretty impressed if you didn't start your paper off with "My thesis is..." so I was usually golden. REAL English-professors would, however, crucify you if you just stayed up playing Mah Jong, drinking Lipton lemon-flavored tea and coming up with your thesis during a Buffy marathon. I'm lucky I graduated. Mainly because I had to pass a math class.

Well that auction isn't going to win itself, so I'll see you on the other side of the weekend!

Comments, questions, what distracts YOU?