Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas *Indeed*, or, Why I'm Highly Lame

Christmas came and went friends, and although we're not *completely* healthy (see also: Princess developed pneumonia) we're at least stashing the bucket back under the counter. (Although the shiny green nebulizer is back in full-rotation.)(I've never been so excited to own a nebulizer as when I wanted to quell my child's emphesymatic hacking.)

And as for proof that I am COMPLETELY and officially lame, I offer this photo evidence.

For whatever reason, it is a very tiny picture, but I think you can certainly make out a ravishingly coiffed Favorite Writer wielding a steam mop! That's riiiiiight bitches, it's steam mop time up in here. No floor is safe from my sanitizing power! And honestly, after last week, we have some sanitizing to DO.

In terms of other gifts, The Man scored points for yummy perfume (Coco Chanel)(Pay me in sunglasses or other accessorizes as you see fit) and jewelry (bracelet). My dad proved, in case any of us doubted, that he's absolutely crazy. Crazy in a fun way, sure, but crazy.

This year, along with 500 thread-count sheets (woo! The softness!) he also lovingly wrapped rocks. Not diamonds. Rocks. Actual huge landscaping rocks. Two, to be specific. One, he thought, would look fantastic in our front flower bed. The other might, he suspected, work better on a hill.

This, from a man who once (told to me by my mother and later verified by dad) obtained and wrapped a manhole cover as a gift, shouldn't be overly surprising. Some years it's a box of Triscuits or soup, some years it's a sapphire tennis bracelet, and some years it's a double barrel shotgun. Who knows what's next? It's always an adventure.

I haven't take pictures of the rock yet. I'll wait until I find a home for it, other than under the Christmas tree.

The kids made out okay too; Grandma got Casanova a walkie-talkie set, which has prompted lots of noise and confusion and kids yelling "can you hear me, OVER?" But at this point, anything that induces them to get physically away from me AND each other is win/win.

And the closest thing I could find to a thoughtful gift for The Man ended up being that web cam/microphone. I had intended for him to use it to Skype his mom, who lives in England. He was pretty sure it was for me to start some career in internet porn. Well I guess now we both have options!

And since this has been the Christmas of the Great Typhoid Outbreak, leaving me to conjure up Oregon Trail memories ("Sam died of dysentery")("The Man has cholera"), we've racked up two separate doc visits since last Thursday and two out of the four of us are on the nebulizer every four hours! The virus that keeps on giving. Apparently.

So. I should get myself back to the basement gym, but my oxen drowned in fording the river....

Comments, questions, how was YOUR holiday?