Tuesday, November 16, 2010

They Pull You Back In

Okay, I've reigned the crazy in, at least for now. I'm not actively plotting revenge, mainly because I'm too busy wondering where the eff my library books are.

Basically, our library doesn't make enough money in this county, so they've had to get all OC up on a mofo. (And I mean organized crime, not whatever douche-tastic show that was on tv that I ignored several years ago.)

They changed their hours too, so I think they're only open a half hour every other Tuesday or something. And, if you request a book, and don't pick it up? FINE. And if you decide you don't want it, or can't pick it up because your car broke down (again) or you've gotten ebola (again), well guess what? You're not ALLOWED to cancel your request. They're all "hey, you WANTED that Oprah book club book? Well you're going to read it and LIKE it." Which, I'm all for reading, but uh, not the fining, so much.

And of course, if you're overdue, they fine you. And they have alarms that go off if you don't put cards in the back pocket. Why? WHY???? Did they have a rash of non-checked-out books? Seriously? I mean, don't get me wrong, there are LOTS of felons (I assume) at the library. Mostly checking Facebook. (And wearing ankle monitors.) I don't think they're there for the books, quite so much. Inevitably though, one of the kids removes my card so we set off the alarms going IN. And then some underpaid Library Drone is all "you need a card" and I'm all "I HAD one. I'm returning them!!! See me coming IN rather than out?" but they've already turned around to help some lame-o who can't get a book to scan. And then I shake my fist at the sky and yell "You people don't even know Tom Wolfe is an AUTHOR!"

Not really. But I'm tempted. Sorely tempted.

So yeah. I have that to do today. Wish me luck. I probably already owe them enough money to buy myself a steam mop.

Comments, questions, how's your local library?