Monday, November 8, 2010

I'm (probably) a Gigantic Moron

For years now, I've had an mp3 player, you know, so I can listen to "Get Low" when I'm vacuuming, like all the stylin' housewives do.

Yesterday though, well it was An Historic Moment. (Other than being the first birthday I spent cleaning after The Poop Disease, that is.) The Man got me a shiny, new, excitingly tappy-screen ORANGE (!!!)(FAVORITE COLOR!) iPod nano.

For YEARSSSS I've resisted. I didn't want to have one. Everyone has one. The Man has one, we'll use his in the basement stereo plug-in thingy. Whatever. Mainly, I was too cheap to buy myself one. And everyone knows the Birthday Rule: if it's a gift, and even if it's from *your own* bank account, you DO NOT RETURN IT - even if it's more money than you'd spend on yourself. This is a very important rule of etiquette.

Anyone seen the newest version of the nano? It used to be all this:

Which was snazzy. But now they're all this:

(Only brilliant and shiny orange!)

Which is all clippy and touchy-screen (which makes me FAR too excited) but it's small and delicate and technologically advanced. This all basically = that thing better come with ass-sit insurance. The Laws of Particle Physics tell us that sooner or later, I'll forget that little gem is living in my pocket, go to have some afternoon Triscuits (as I do) and squash it like a beautiful shiny orange music-playing bug. And then, instead of listening to Fiddy Cent, I'll be crying sad salty tears of pain.

I haven't managed to mess up the hot pink Sansa I have, because seriously, I tried. (Its predecessor died in the washer.) I have sat on it, and let both kids play with it. But this Nano, well, I'm pretty sure I'll destroy it just like Casanova has done with my make up.

And did anyone else know how bossy the iPod is? No? It's all "JOIN ITUNES OR WE BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!" even though my BFFIC insists that her Man just opens his iPod through the "my computer" route and loads songs from there. Then again, he's some sort of code-writing ninja, so what CAN'T he do? He can stop Steve Jobs from burning his house down. *I can't.*

And I simply must get all my songs *OFF* the Sansa, because there's something on the iPod that says it will put all my songs that "go together" together and I realllly want to see what it comes up with. If it thinks that Floyd matches up with Metallica, well, we'll have a talk.

If my house is still standing. **

**OY VEY, Monkeys, this is the Day After I Got Mah iPod, and I'm amazed that I'm here, relatively sane, AND sober. Lemme put it this way: at one point, I was physically holding my iPod in front of the computer screen and saying "it's RIGHT HERE!!! WHY won't you RECOGNIZE IT!?" And I had to download and RE-download iTunes about fifty hunnerd times and each time the ONLY option I wanted was to "sync iPod" but that option was always *gray* when it needed to be BLACK! So.

Then finally, it was all "are you sure you don't want ME to handle this with my AUTO sync" and I'm all "FINE, iTunes, do what you will" and after it assaulted my iPod by force, well, at least I have my songs.

I tried to go all manual so *I* could put my songs in there mySELF. Total mistake. But, after about three hours (no lie) I finally have songs and I've enjoyed tapping it, except when it freaks out and thinks "oh you meant Eminem" and I'm all "WTF yo, I tapped SHINEDOWN" and they are not. the. same.

And it's "Genius Mix" or whatever it's called seems to think I only have two types of music and it's FAILING to notice that I have Lady Gaga, Rhianna AND Pink Floyd, so it's not all Disturbed and Five Finger Death Punch on there. So. Not *exactly* the genius are WE?!

But, it's fun. And it connects to the stereo in mah basement AND in the BGLC so that's pretty cool. (But I dread having to add any new songs.)

Comments, questions, do YOU find iPod totally easy to manage?