Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Good Morning Sunshine!

This morning, I was lolling around in bed, listening to my children flagrantly ignore the "no kids up before Mommmy's up" rule and then I heard a beep. A series of persistent beeps. I have kids with obnoxious toys, so clearly things beep around here often.

(True story: Once, we were awakened by a voice talking in a loud Hispanic accent.... At first we thought someone was all Breaking and Entering but no, it was Casanova's Handy Manny truck. "Let's fix the radiator!" "Hmmm, let's fix the engine!" Frankly, if anyone wants to come over and work on my car, that's cool, but not at 2 am.)

The beeping persisted. Then, the beeping quickened. Of course it took me that long to realize it was our security system. Shit. So without *any regard* for my own safety, I ran downstairs in my over-size t-shirt and glasses to confront whatever crazed roving serial killers had broken in. Actually, I just wanted to shut off my alarm before it tripped the entire system. I was, as they say, too late.

"BWAHHHHHH! BWAHHHHHH! BWAHHHHHH!"

I punched the code in and killed it - then realized hey, um, something actually must be open for it to go off. And then I was totally panicked. Seriously. I had no weapon except for my MIND (which is dubious at best) and couldn't remember which zone was which. Sigh.

But, like the total Sherlock Holmes I am, I glanced at the inner door to the garage. WHEW. It was cracked, but enough to trigger the sensor. This meant no home invading ax murderers. Totally dodged that bullet. Or ax. Or whatever.

The inner garage door doesn't seal quite perfectly, so with the weird crazy wind storms we've had, some sort of highly specific physics-related pressure change happens and the door pops. One might have seen this coming. Or not.

The Man had gotten himself all prettified and I was still shaking with adrenaline (for the serial killers) and told him that the alarm company would call soon. They did. Everyone was glad we hadn't been ax murdered and it was just a faulty door seal.

Then The Man looked at the door and started talking about shims and door jams and wood and I got that glazed look again like when he starts telling me about Math's Practical Applications in Life and nodded.

So. We have some door shimming to do.

But at least we know I will run INTO danger and not away from it. But next time, I'm going armed. (You can't be too careful.)

(I'll probably end up blowing Handy Manny away.)

Comments, questions, ever realize you're an idiot too late?

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