Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I Can't Ride 55

Well, since it's fifty billion-ty degrees here in the dirty dirty Heartland, Your Favorite Writer is staring wistfully at the garage and wishing I were out gallivanting on my (and by mine I actually mean The Man's but since it's the closest I'm going to get to ownership right now, it's MINE)(and since I love it desperately and unabashedly) motorcycle.

But since The Man's shoulder has been a big hot mess all summer, have I gotten to throw on my spiffy red Joe Rocket gear? And my Rossi-replica AGV Italian helmet? HAVE I?!?! No. No, I have NOT, sir. And this annoys me.

I keep seeing people out soaking up the (alleged)(seriously it's been August for three months now) last days of warm weather on their bikes, and I get all wistful and sad and forget I'm supposed to be driving and almost rear-end a dump truck. Which really explains why I'm the passenger on the bike, if you think about it.

I have loved sport bikes since high school, when until I figured out the magic of physics, I watched the races on tv in awe, figuring sooner or later they'd all fall over. I have a genuine love for all things fast and bike-ish in nature.

And TOTAL SUCKAGE, I can't ride. I mean, I *could* in theory, if the house were on fire and an assassin jumped out from my garage and pointed a gun at me, MAYBE figure out how to get the thing in gear, but it wouldn't be pretty, and it wouldn't end well. I'd probably just throttle my way into my neighbor's living room via the front picture window. Sammo + throttle + shifting = FAIL.

I don't have a point here, just that I'm SAD. And bike ride less. ALL SUMMER LONG and before you know it this bullshit bipolar weather is going to change again (yay no migraines!) and it'll go from sweaty pits hot to freezing balls cold and there will be no bike opportunities and then I'll cry inside. And possibly outside.
Because there is very very little, Monkeys, that I like *MORE* than going about 90 off an exit ramp and taking a back road where I can drag my fingers on the pavement when we lean over.

Oh well. Maybe NEXT year. (The Man, if you're reading, I expect sympathy. And a bike ride when your shoulder gets over itself.)

Comments, questions, what do you love to do?


J said...

it's not really fifty-billionty degrees outside...... because if it were......;)

Sammo said...

That's right! There's no way it's *really* that hot because the planet would die and we'd all turn to ashes or something. lol! ;)