Thursday, August 19, 2010

Arrrrrr! A Pirate Adventure!

File this under: I Need to Work on Time Management Skills. Yesterday I went to a local MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers) meeting and totally shirked my blogging duties. But, the upside? I got you some blog material, my monkeys.

We met at a park, and although there was no complimentary rum, and the other moms were nervous about my drinking before 10 am (KIDDING), it was a good meeting. The park, though, I'm a little creeped out about.

I stepped out in the parking lot, and hand to God, almost stepped on a condom wrapper. EW. I actually said that about ten times, like EW EW EWWWWW! And after I stopped hopping around like I'd almost stepped on something possibly covered in syphilis (possibly)(who's to say)(I'm not taking chances), I went off boldly to meet the other moms.

And what other moms want to hear? Hey, your kids are playing near condom wrappers, so watch out for the prize inside! It's bound to be around here somewhere. Possibly under the bench or near the hundred cigarette butts I shuffled through.

After scaring the moms with my drinking and fear of random lurking STD-filled condoms, I noticed the only lone dad wandering around the park.....with a.....metal detector. And a shovel.

Hey buddy! I'm not sure what you're looking for, but I doubt you'll like what you find.

Seriously, what was he looking for?

Well another MOPS mom asked him, and turns out he gets bored watching his kids (who doesn't) and likes to wander around, looking for....buried treasure. Ah. I see. That explains the shovel.

Me, I'd take a book, but what do I know? I'm going to feel like a giant tool if I watch the news tonight and a pirate chest full of gold doubloons was found at the park, by some genius with a metal detector. Then again, *I* won't have had to dig through herpes to get there, either.

This one is a draw, Mr. Treasure Hunter.

I'm sure the moms can't wait for our next meeting.

Comments, questions, find anything good at the park?


Ruby said...

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Absorbent and pourous and yellow is he!