Tuesday, July 13, 2010

We Party with Snooki (okay, not really...)

Sorry Friends, I was all day-late-and-dollar-short yesterday, and I ended up hiding in my basement like a Bridge Troll because the hateful eye doctor had the AUDACITY to dilate my eyes and my pupils were the size of coffee cup saucers and I was all THE LIGHT IT BURNS! sort of like a Mommy Gollum.

Then, just when I thought it was safe to try and hit up the computer and (oh that reminds me to check eBay yo), Princess tried to stick a double back twist from the couch and ended up with a minor head injury. Don't worry though, the doctor said she was fine after doing very specific (and expensive) doctor tests, and telling her not to jump on the sofa. She responded, "Or the couch." Now that we have our head traumas healed up, my pupils are back to size, and all pediatricians south of the Great Lakes are aware of synonyms for 'sofa,' we can safely return to Part II of our Great British Adventure!

Part II - Partying with Snooki's Less-Tan Twin (sort of)

The second night that The Brit was here, we all ended up at an outdoor, marina-side bar. There was a band, $10 (!!!) pitchers of something vodka and raspberry-ish in nature (yes please), and a decorative stone pool in the middle of a lounge area, near the small dance floor.

Our group staked out a spot on a small upper railing, and chatted. Right away, I noticed a young drunken skank lady on the dance floor, wearing a swimsuit cover up dress. She had obviously been there awhile, was pretty trashed, and tried dancing with anything male that happened to brush against her on the way across the floor.

Other than making mental note, I didn't pay much attention until one lady in our group said, "OH MY GOD, is she PEEING in the POOL?!" I turned to look, and the girl had already begun tugging her swim cover back down and climbed out of the pool to get her groove on.

The Man was stunned, and said she'd totally peed in the pool because he'd looked over right as she lifted her swim-dress.

We were all aghast. The Brit asked me what was going on and I told him I thought she peed the pool.

"Christ! Did she?!"

Well. There was a (classy) large wet spot on her swim dress, not to be all CSI here, but in the approximate area one might expect if one had squatted above the water, and peed in a pool.

I turned to the lady with us and said "does she think she's on Jersey Shore or something?"

I've never actually WATCHED that show, but just follow the exploits via gossip stuff, and I'm pretty sure that although people are either A. catching the herpes, or B. punching each other (before catching the herpes), most of the ladies are able to find the womens' room just fine. This girl looked like a less pouf-y version of a Snooki unable to hold her water, or vodka, or well, yeah...

I'll give Fake Snooki props; if you're going to do something like that, you just order another pitcher and keep on dancing!

Although security wasn't aware (or concerned), because they were all Secret Service up on a mofo' when The Man and I accidentally walked through a roped-off VIP area - I guess maybe Random Public Pool Urination is more common than I thought!

None of us could really believe it, even as we watched her shake her pee-covered patooter all evening. Welcome to America, The Brit!

...to be continued with 4th of July goodness!

Comments, questions, have you partied with Snooki's twin?