Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Happy 4th of July! (whatever I'm late)

When The Brit planned his whirlwind trip to stay with us, he planned specifically to be here for the 4th. Why, you ask? I'm assuming it's so I could accuse him of having an inferior country, and tell him we were happy being liberated from his tyranny!

Being such a charming bloke though, he just went with it, and told me they only had sparklers in England, and they were too poor for such things as Roman Candles or Coors Light.

Anyway, we didn't actually take him to any of the professional fireworks shows, no, we blew stuff up in our own cul-de-sac like our founding fathers intended.

In fact, I bought these Chinese Ladybugs just to show you all the AMAZING ENGLISH on the warning stickers. Look carefully, it's impressive.

(In case you can't see - it's something like Air the in goes spinner this = totally backwards.)

I told you. Aren't you both shocked AND awed right now? (They were actually pretty cool fireworks - they shot a ball up in the sky that scattered all the children while the adults tried to be human shields.)

While the kids were waiting for the men-folk to prepare some more Flaming Chinese Lady Bugs, they found this: (some other Daddy is holding this thing, because, SERIOUSLY.)(I hope you've already eaten your breakfast.)


The Brit confirmed they DO NOT have these things in England. I might be moving there, sparklers be damned.

It was one of those things when the kids were yelling "Mommy, look at this BUG!" and we're all thinking 'whatever, lightning bug' or something and then I saw and was like 'The Man, LOOK AT THIS BUG!"

He thought it was a dragon fly. Psheah! A dragon fly from CHERNOBYL!

Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, I found out later it's called a "dobsonfly" (you call it dobsonfly, I call it devilfly) - and it was female given the HUGE terrifyingly functional pincers - plus, it also had toxic butt-spray. That's right. We almost got strafed with insect goo. I'm lucky to be alive.

Enjoying America yet, The Brit?

It wouldn't be a true American-style party though, if someone didn't get hurt or die on a 4 wheeler, am I right? So, since The Brit is HIGHLY private (which I suspect is also British of him), here is the edited picture of him on my neighbor's quad:

Doesn't it LOOK scary? Or is that just because I can't get out of first gear to save my life...

Don't worry, we didn't kill our visiting IBFF! My neighbor did report almost flipping it though after she had a few drinks, and then her husband took her quad away. But see? THAT is how Americans party! Drunken 4 wheeler adventures! Again, as our founding fathers intended.

Unfortunately for you, dear readers, I did not manage to capture the magic of The Man and his (literal) torch for lighting fuses, nor did I take a picture when The Brit was burned by holding the bottle rocket launch thingy; Happy 4th, you now have a 2nd degree burn!

But a good time was had, I can only assume, by all.

Comments, questions, what did you do for the 4th?