Thursday, June 10, 2010

OMG = Oh, Migraine Goodness!

Once again, Your Favorite Writer is going in the "Genius Hall of Fame." Yesterday, I'd had a nagging headache in the morning, which I assumed was a result of my tramalamadingdong pills. Around lunch I started feeling vaguely nauseated, and thought that I might be having some Crazy Pill Reaction. The headache hung on. Surely though, since the pills only lasted about 4 hours, I'd be feeling better once they wore off, right? Right?!! Yeahhhhh.

Well, I wo'maned up and went to the grocery store, begging my children to "shhhhh, Mommy's head hurts and it's bright in here and I just might throw up allll over the bread aisle." I probably forgot half of what I needed because I was wandering through the aisles in some sort of mental fog, alternating between praying I didn't throw up, and being annoyed I had apparently skipped at least two mandatory food aisles. Finally, I gave up and said "we're out of here."

I walked in the door and told The Man (who was - cue angelic choir - miraculously home early) that I needed to sit down and he had to get the food out fo the car. I called the doctor to inform her that I might be suffering a Severe Weird Overdose. Her nurse talked to me.

"Do you think you're having a migraine?"
"What? Oh, no. I mean, I took the pills the doctor prescribed this morning and I'm all nauseated and I feel really spacy."
"Uh huh. Are you sensitive to light?"
"Well, it is really bright right now...."
"I keep begging my kids to stop talking. Things are also very loud right now..."
"I think I might throw up, actually."
"Are you having visual disturbances?"
"No. Well. Not really."
"Are your eyes bothering you?"
"They've been throbbing and watering all day."
"Yeahhhh. That sounds like a migraine. Let me ask the doctor and call you back."

So I threw up a few times, because, what more fun could I have on a Wednesday? Then, I lay on my bed, drapes closed, and wondering if whatever tumor/aneurysm/gremlin behind my left eye was going to rupture and/or take over the world. She called back about an hour of brain-rending pain later.

"The doctor is pretty sure you're in the middle of a migraine. Go ahead and take the sample she gave you and we'll call some more in."

Well sweet diggety, don't mind if I do! I don't remember what it's called. Oh yeah. Maxalt. And let me add they didn't pay me (but they should) and I'd like to buy those people a beer. Or an iced tea. Or a Coke Zero. Whatever. It took awhile to work since I'd been Migraine-ing it up all day without realizing it, but at last the throbbing behind my eye that felt like a cue ball rolling around finally dulled enough that I could open my eye without whimpering or praying aloud.

Then this morning, I immediately took to the internet to learn about these migraines. First off, I'm sorely tempted to call them "megrims" like they did during Elizabethan times. Why? Because it's AWESOME and it'll confuse everyone and as long as no one's holding my Maxalt hostage, I don't care if they're confused!

Secondly, I liked the part about how in the post-migraine phase, you can feel "unusually refreshed" or "hungover." Anyone care to guess what Your Favorite Writer is feeling? Hmmmmmm? I can tell you it's NOT refreshed, unusually or otherwise. No, I feel like my body might have gone on some all-night bender involving rum and possibly tequila shots. Only instead of having hilarious memories of dancing to Lady Gaga and singing "Bad Romance" in my 3 inch stilettos, I have memories of muttering into my pillow about aneuryisms and karma and snippets of the 23rd Psalm - mostly that part about walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Fun!

Apparently much like my ASS-ma, my megrims (awesome) don't like to be denied, nor ignored. And since I now have a stash of Maxalt in a cool blue box, they will just be DESTROYED. Mwhahahaaaaaa. Seriously, I'm sending those people a dozen roses and a key to the city. (Not really, because I don't have a key to the city. I'll just send them one of those keys we have lying around that we don't know what it goes to, and I'll tape a little note that says "key to the city" on it.)

Comments, questions, how's your head?


SoccerMom said...

That totally sucks. I dont get migranes all the time. But with my lupus I have a higher chance of getting them daily if I am too stressed.

They are the worst. I am sorry you had to go thru that. I hope that you get some pills that really work for you.

Good luck

Sammo said...

Thanks for the good wishes! I'm pretty sure stress makes everything worse - and then I get worried thinking about being stressed and how stress makes things worse.... You get the idea... ;)
This is only my third, so I guess I can't live in denial much more. I'm thinking of keeping a journal so at least I know what might trigger them? Sorry to hear about your lupus - that's no fun. Hope you stay healthy! :)