Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The British Invasion

Okay, in explanation for why I might miss a few days of blogging (I'll wait until the weeping subsides... ::pats back:: there, feeling better?) it's because The Man's IBFF (that's International Best Friend Forever) is coming to stay with us for a week or so.

The Man met his bestie while enjoying some military time in Sandy Land many years ago. His biff has since retired from the RAF and is now doing contract work abroad. He's taking one of his vacations with us! Hooray!

Last time he came, we were child-less, and living in our old house. This time? Well, we have two crazed pygmies AND a basement bedroom (once Sassy takes some clothes) and our very own Adult Basement.

I learned a lot about our neighbors across "the pond" - which is slang for an ocean. I think it's the Atlantic. I could be wrong. I suck at geography. It's probably math-related.

First off, they are more casual about drinking. They drink a lot of wine. The Man and I drink a lot of Sprite Zero. I am pretty sure we spent about 80% of his last visit mildly hungover.

Then there's the accent. The accent is totally different depending on where you're from in England. Like my mother-in-law has an American/British accent. She sort of sounds like Madonna did after moving over there, remember that? The Man's biff was raised near Scotland so it's a combo accent. It makes words sound more fun, doesn't it?

Then the slang, the slang always cracks me up. Last time I determined that there were about 3 different meanings for the word piss/pissed. Like you have to piss means the same as it does here, or being pissed could be mad, but if you say you WERE pissed, it probably just means drunk. I know! Very confusing. Theortetically, you could have been pissed, gotten pissed and then pissed; all in once sentence and have it be factual! VERY confusing. Oh, and trainers are shoes, and a boot is really the trunk. WEIRD.

What was super fun was that last time, his Biff couldn't believe that you could just go to a store and buy a gun, or that we actually *owned* guns of our own. So we have a picture of this Brit holding both The Man's shot gun, and mine - looking all amused and thrilled at the same time. See, in England, you can't own a gun. So the local gun store? Amazing! Shocking! (And I *did* tell you I was ARMED and dangerous, remember? True story: in college I lived in a sketchy townhouse with my roomies, and someone shot out our back window - so that Christmas, my dad got me a shotgun. He was pleased that it had some nice floral carvings. That's my dad - not JUST a weapon for my defense, but a PRETTY one.)

So anyway, assuming he doesn't rush back out toward the nearest airport after being stuck around our kids for days, we'll be out gallivanting and learning fun new British words. Think of me fondly, darlings, and a happy 4th of July to you if I'm not back by then! Remember, fireworks are dangerous, and don't eat questionable potato salad.

Comments, questions, spot o' tea?