Monday, May 10, 2010

The Work Out

Normally I approach exercise the way most of the contestants on The Biggest Loser do (well until they get all fit and do awesome Samoan dances at the weigh--in); with fear, annoyance, and lots of angst. I mean, my pretend-bff-in-my-head Jillian tells me that she doesn't like to work out either but, helllooooo, she's LYING. You don't get lady-biceps like that if you don't enjoy a wee bit of pain. I don't enjoy pain, and thus my lady biceps are FAR less impressive. Sigh.

(Although between you and me, dear Internet, I'm always doing Linda-Hamilton-Terminator-2 one arm pull ups in my head. You can't be too sure when the End Times are nigh and you have to go hardcore on a Terminator.)

TOTAL resemblance people. That terminator is going DOWN.

So yeah. On a GOOD day, I haul my carcass downstairs to do my 10-minutes-of-bike-during-Dr. Oz and then it's down to the Weight Room o' Doom to beat myself up with free weights. Good times! (Mental note: Find picture of Jillian yelling and email to Desktop Publishing BFF who will make a poster. This will inspire me. Allegedly.)

Today though, is my first Work Out since the Great ASS-ma Onslaught of 'aught Ten-Eleventy. Will I make it? Will I be able to lift anything heavier than a 3 year old who stole my lip gloss? Should I have another cup of coffee? And how did The Man confuse SUGAR-free with FAT-free when he bought my creamer???

Even now, even while I am CREATING precious works of word ART for my demanding PUBLIC, a small part of me is pretty sure I'm actually putting off my Work Out. I know. I can only do so much. Clearly no one cared if Hemmingway worked out. Does anyone know if Shakespeare did push ups? Art is more important! (Note: I am not ACTUALLY comparing myself to either stellar author, send hate mail off to the Chinese Government and sign it 'Friends of the DL'.)

You're right. I'd better Wo'man up here. Jeez you're pushy. I'll write tomorrow...if I survive.

Comments, questions, do you work out?