Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Scream of the Nutria

Music is just the best, isn't it Friends? I mean, except when it's not. Except when it grates on your ears like the howling of a captive Nutria. (Nutria = adorable, and I'm just guessing on their shrieks being annoying.)

See? Super cute. Unless they're captive and howling, and then, well, then it's just bad. Like bad music. Get it? Me neither.

Anyway. Last night, The Man and I were watching the American Idol finale (shut up already, I know it sucked too) and I noticed something, something concerning - and not just Paula Abdul's tendency to wear dresses that my Barbie wore in 1986.

No. Far more serious.

Country music is trying to trick me.

I will be honest here. I don't like country music. I don't like country anything really. And before you're all grabbing the pitchforks and torches to storm my castle, it's NOT personal. YOU might like gingham shirts and double fried pork meat, but it's just NOT MY THING. You understand right? I mean, I'm a pale white girl with dark hair - I pretty much have to enjoy rock music and angsty women. It's the law.

But see, country music isn't content to just do sequins and blue jeans and cowboy hats so I can see it coming and run the other way.

No. Now they're dressing all ROCK and trying to confuse me. So maybe I'll be all, oh, hey, this is pretty cool!

But no, sorry country music, you aren't fooling ANYONE. I am totally onto your game.

See last night, Carrie Underwood sang some song (which didn't have any actual discernible lyrics) and I looked around at her band and her back up singers and there wasn't a single cowboy hat. There was, however, a jaunty fedora AND a hat with a feather.

BUT Feather-Hat was holding a fiddle and that is always a give away. If I hear or see a fiddle, I'm pretty sure it's nothing I want to stick around for. (Unless it's "Devil Went down to Georgia" because that's just worth the price of admission. Everyone knows you get a pass for Charlie Daniels. And Skynard. It's actually illegal to hate the song Sweet Home Alabama, did you know that? AND it's also totally permissible to change the lyrics to "Sweet Home Ala-SAM-a" and sing it at the concert. Just so you know.)

And Carrie herself didn't have big hair or sequins; she was all trendy and ready to party with Lady Gaga or something at the after-party. (If Lady Gaga went, which she didn't because she was busy being fabulous and futuristic somewhere else..)

I know music evolves, I get it; however, country music is NOT allowed to evolve, because really, the evolution is strictly to trick people like me into listening. And that song about what Carrie Underwood would like to do to her cheating boyfriend's truck? I won't lie, it's not just catchy, it's TEMPTING. But still, I won't be lured...

And to prove it, I'll post concert pictures after this weekend!

Comments, questions, what do you listen to?


Ruby said...

I totally agree. County music is trying to be sneaky. Not cool. You don't see Lars Ulrich rocking out while wearing a cowboy hat. Stick to appropriate accessories people!

Sammo said...

I know! There should be a law. Or at the very least, a statute - I'd find that acceptable.