Friday, May 21, 2010

Sammo, Esq.

Today I was emailing my biff Roobs, as I do, and she recently passed a certification test - which means she is now Roobs, CPSC. It stands for her specialty, but since I don't often remember it (nor if I have moldy laundry in the washer), I just make up acronyms. (What, like you don't?)

CPSC -Crunk Party Society Chick
CPSC - Crazy Punk Sister Chicken
CPSC - Credientaling Person Sweet Chestnuts

I have no idea. Her real initials stand for something very professional though. Trust me.

So in our witty fabulous emails back and forth, we decided that *I* too should have some letters after MY name. Clearly.

I had heard that "esq" really doesn't mean anything, although lawyers often use it. And since we all know I once thought about taking the LSAT and minored in Criminal Justice (see also: what bored college athletes take to get As)(you just can't miss it with that many football players in one class), I am already a ninja/lawyer in my mind. Which is probably the best place for it, given my inability to solve even BASIC logic problems, which is what the LSAT is full of my friends, and since I burned out somewhere between Criminal Deviant Theory 412 and Recidivism and the Penal System 401, here I sit, with only one fancy-over-priced-over-rated degree to my name. Cue the heavy sighhhhh.

So I looked up the origins of Esq (or esquire) and learned that while in the U.S., it usually denotes an attorney, technically it *also* is: "An unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance, it is used to denote a high but indeterminate social status." (Wikipedia, as always, is probably totally right. Maybe. Unless they're not.)

Perfect! Respect, check, no actual or clear significance, got it, high but muddled social status - bingo!

You may now refer to me as Sammo, Esq.

I'll be putting it on my imaginary mental ninja/lawyer business cards.

Or maybe I'll print up some real ones, just to confuse everyone. Tempting, soooo tempting. Either way, though, I'm pretty sure this means I'm an esquire.

Comments, questions, what's after your name?


Ruby said...

Oh my gosh, I love you, you are so funny!
Roobs, CPCS

Sammo said...

Glad you like it - you certified lady! :)