Monday, April 12, 2010

The IRS and Baby-Mama Drama

As I am writing to you, dear assorted readers, who have presumably stumbled in here, hung over and actually looking for some sort of jell-o-tastic remedy, I write to you while on hold with the IRS. I know. I'm pretty hardcore.

See, if you're a Regular Reader (first off, thank you!) and secondly, you'd know that *I* finished up my taxes AND submitted them AND had them approved in shockingly record time this year. So why the IRS hold call, you ask?


I'm "helping" Sassy with HER taxes. And by "helping" I mean I'm pretty much cozied up with her W2s and my desk top, while she is busy rockin' her way through anatomy lab.

Normally I don't blather to the Internet universe about my *stunning* personal drama, because A. someone I REALLY know might read it and B. it's pretty stultifyingly boring actually. (And SHUT UP spell check, I can TOTALLY adverb that word.)

Yet since I'm on hold with the IRS (most of whom, sorry IRS but girl you KNOW it's true, have had a personality-lobotomy) I feel it's fiiiiine to share this tid bit of El Loco with all y'all.

Recently Sassy had her mom's-boyfriend/step-dad-type-figure help her out. He ran into some tax-ish question that spun Sassy all up in tax issues and refund problems. Don't ask me what, I'm (mistaken all the TIME for one I know) not an accountant; but anyhoooooo, it got all wild and crazy up in here and the next thing I know, angry text pages are flying all over the midwest as The Man and Sassy's mom rekindled their affection.

All of this over Sassy's taxes! So here you have FOUR adults discussing tax law like we know something. And the scary part? Your Favorite Writer is the one who's all "I'm ON this" and IRS-ing it up at their tax law web page. (PS - I was pretty much right.)(PPS - I enjoy when I'm right.)

But the bottom line *isn't* that divorced families aren't hella-fun at parties, OR awesome on the dance floor. No. The POINT is that there are FOUR PEOPLE WILLING to DO Sassy's taxes!!!!


Why isn't anyone lining up to help ME with exemptions and deductions and such goodness?

And how did I end up on hold with the IRS, debating finer points of tax law? (PS - It's now been three transfers and 23 minutes on the phone and STILL no answer to my burning question.)

It's because I rock. That's right. I will be your step mom, lecture you on laundry, correct your spelling by GOD - and help do your taxes.

Anyone who'd like to send me a medal can start by engraving my image in gold and filling the box with dark chocolate and 100 dollar bills.

Comments, questions, is your step mom your CPA?