Friday, April 23, 2010

Fun on a Friday

Today I am planning to buy some flowers. Whoa, hold on there, slow your roll - am I right? The thing is, this is only deserving of attention because I'm pretty sure it's proof that I'm not young and fancy-free anymore. I mean, I like to *think* I'm totally still young - but then again, I also like to think that any day now I'll be taken away from all this and be restored to my rightful place as your benevolent ruler.

Aaaanyway, as things have turned out, I am NOT rich enough to have ANY of the following:

A pool complete with cabana and staff
A massage therapist on call
A chef
A maid
A crack team of well-trained landscape architects, NOR gardeners.
A life coach

So, basically life hasn't worked out the way I planned. I know. I'm keeping a pretty stiff upper lip about the whole thing, right?

Since I currently *don't* have anyone to garden (while I sit inside in the AC and sip mimosas - which I've never actually had and am not even sure I like, I just think it's something Women of Leisure drink) I have to actually go outside and plant things myself. Ugh.

Let me explain: I'm NOT an outdoorsy type. Don't get me wrong, I like to DO stuff outside, as long as it's FUN. I like to boat, hike (only under specific conditions), lunch at outdoor cafes - well you get the idea. Wallowing around in mulch like a pig in a puddle does NOT complete Your Favorite Writer.

If I had been born in Elizabethan times, I would be the delightful lady of a successful manor, and take my picnic lunches in my upper gardens while napping away the hot afternoons.

Bottom line = I don't like to garden. But this yard isn't going to prettify itself.

My next-door neighbor works NON STOP on her yard from April until October. She's out there day and night: watering, mulching, weeding, planting, singing sonnets to her flowers. If I could get away with claiming her flower beds for my own, I would *totally* do that.

My yard, however, is pretty.....blahhhhh. I removed a bunch of crap last summer and felt pretty proud of myself - especially since I had to actually use a shovel and dig up root balls. Another fun fact about Your Favorite Writer? I am grossed out by root balls. EW. I have yet to plant enough things to make it actually look landscaped - right now it just I should hire a gardener.

The only thing I'll even partly enjoy is putting stuff in containers on my deck. It means less dirt, less shovel, and there's a better chance I'll remember to water it so it doesn't DIE and look terrible. Whee!

Wish me luck friends, because either way, I'm going to be dirty and probably attacked by killer wood-bees.

Comments, questions, will you be my gardener?