Monday, March 29, 2010

Why Mommy Loves Mondays

Normally, when I announce (sing-song voice optional) that Monday is one of my favorite days of the week, people sort of nod and blink and "yeah right lady" but it is, honestly. Let me explain.

I'm a HUUUUUUGE fan of Order and Control. The weekends are pretty much the polar opposite, with Disorder and Chaos reigning, respectively. Daddy's home and the kids are hepped up on sugar and joy and act like crazed protesters trying to overthrow the government.

I'm all, "HEY, this is not a democracy NOR a republic - it's a dictatorship homies, and I'm the dicTATOR."

And they're all "Daddy said we could.... run with scissors, eat twizzlers, make butter sculptures, shave the dog, swim in the toilet" - so then I say "THE MAN, did you say they could do that?" And he's all "NO! Why are they doing that?" while looking up from his March Madness/Moto GP/ESPN-24 hour-crack-fest and/or between painting the basement, organizing the garage and/or waxing the Bitchy German Luxury Car.

Now, on Monday, BLISSSSSFUL Monday, The Man goes slogging back off to the coal mines work and Her Dictatorship is back in power.

Right now? The children are quietly (and more importantly separately) occupied. Nothing is being eaten, nor destroyed, and the pantry is LOCKED DOWN. I have coffee and time to read Perez before work out time. What is NOT to enjoy?

Furthermore, I submit for your consideration, that since The Man only has two days (!!!) off a week to Get Things Done, these things are attempted on weekends (between ESPN breaks); yet Your Favorite Writer is ALWAYS here, doing laundry, cleaning, etc and really wants NOTHING to do with household crap on the weekends.

So, when The Man is all "Let's go to Home Depot and buy a new door! Then, we'll work on painting the basement and organize our filing cabinet"... I'm all "bullet to the HEAD!" as the children chase each other with chainsaws through my living room because Daddy said they could. (Even though he really didn't.)

Mondays rock. Viva la dictator!

Comments, questions, do you like Mondays?