Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Napping isn't Just for Fun...It's the LAW

Today, dear readerlets, I have earned that craft-class "World's Greatest Mom" coffee mug that no one has bothered to give me for Mother's Day. Yet. Ever. I have earned it.

My 3-year old nugget child (why nugget? Why NOT nugget, I say) staged a one-man protest yesterday and was all "hell no I won't go" to naptime. He was so fidgety and annoying and leaping out of bed that I said, fine, whatever. Actually it was more like, hey, Daddy's watching you heathens because Mommy has an appointment later so mwhahahaaa, but, yeah, no nap.

Today I told Mr. Protest that naptime was approaching and he said "nope, I'm not taking a nap! EVER!" And so, in the way of BRILLIANT (sleep-deprived)(silly)(drunk) moms everywhere, I said: "You have to take a nap. It's the law."

Uh huh. I did.

Then, to further add to my own verbal-stream-of-consciousness-parenting, I said: "Yep. It's a law and the police say so."

Rational Sam, who gets locked in the mental basement each month during Crazy Sam's PMS binge pounded on the door and was all "HEY! That's some craptastic parenting there!" (As usual though, she was ignored.)

The real question, other than "Are you Seriously Suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder?" (No, we don't think we are.)is "Did Your Kid Take a Nap?"

And that answer, friends, is YES. Yes, he did. He might have mentioned something about the police, but he took his nap.

Stay tuned for my next Adventures in Parenting when I tell you all about the Tarantino brood I'm raising and how they argue over toys.

Hint: It involves threats and a lot of swearing. No one has been shot or beaten. Yet.

Comments, questions, arrest your kids lately?

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