Tuesday, March 9, 2010

All of These Things I Said to You....

Coming to you live from the Heartland, home of the Indy 500 and House of the PMSing Mom on Vicodin, it's Jell-o time bitches! Because my level of brain activity equals that of a comatose guppy right now, it's Random Crap Time! So please, pull up a chair, liberally spike your coffee with a shot of Johny Walker (because *I* sure as hell won't be doing that) and read on, read on...

*Last weekend we took the kids to the park where I saw the following: a mom was so busy drinking wine from a basket with her friend that she allowed her 4 year old daughter to carry her 3-month old baby around. The kid dropped the baby face-first in mulch. Go ahead. Take a moment. I hyperventilated and probably had a small stroke. The baby appeared to be okay. Normally I try to reserve judgment but....REALLY??? I mean. REALLY???

*I have come to accept that for whatever reason I really like old Don Henley songs. I know not why. I have listened to Boys of Summer on my mp3 player about 466 times in a row lately. Brown skin shining in the sun, hair pulled back and sunglasses on baby....

*I've learned being brunette is a good thing. Blondes might have more fun. How the hell would I know? I have a lot of fun, AND people trust me when I break out the multisyllablic words. Right this moment, spell check is assuring me that multisyllabic isn't a word. I bet spell check is blond. Bwhahahahaa!

*I watched the A&E show "Hoarders" for the first time last night. I am DEEPLY afraid of being one of those people. Like right now? I can tell you that I have two shelves above my computer area. On these shelves I have three folders full of call-back notations I made while doing part time work last July. I'm SURE I'll need those. I also have 2 box sets of Seinfeld. A set of stone bookends. An ornamental Japanese fan. Two carved gargoyles. AND an expired phone book. MY GOD. I am one cluttered room away from needing an intervention! Or is that just the anxiety talking? Probably. Maybe. I'd better grab a Hefty bag. Just in case.

*What is better than Interstate Love Song? Answer: NOTHING. I don't care what snappy songs you come up with, Current Musicians, you simply can't beat Interstate Love Song. So quit trying.

*I totally forgot to tell you my Internet Friends, I'm going to another concert! I'm very excited. As I rock out, I'll think of all of you. (Not really.) (I'll just be rocking out.) I plan on doing a kick ass collage of all my ticket stubs. It should be impressive and highly artistic so. Yeah. Stay tuned for that.

*I saw the movie Precious recently. It was really good. You should see it. I wanted to call my parents and be all, You guys are AWESOME! Thanks for not being a welfare family and living in Harlem! Because THAT shit would suck. I don't even have to assume they took creative liberty with it. I mean, that life is HARD. The movie isn't exactly going to perk you up, so don't say Your Favorite Writer didn't warn you.

*Okay, this is really random but I HAVE to SHARE it with you. Last week I was making some point with The Man and then on Sunday we went to church and they did a sermon about something Jesus had said and it was THE SAME THING I SAID to The Man. I didn't even read it before! What does this mean? It means I am thinking like Jesus and I didn't even know it. It's very profound. I'm sure I should reflect on it.

*I found a picture of me the other day, taken when I was 19. Wow. I'm going to assume I'm improving with age because I seriously looked 12. And someone should have staged an intervention about my bangs. Thanks, guys, for letting me walk around like that. Thanks a lot. (I just bought a printer/scanner/deep fryer but haven't hooked it up yet. I'll put up ALL SORTS of goodies once I get that thing rolling.)

That's it for now darlings. I'm off to curl up and whimper in the fetal position until my pain meds kick in. So until next time....

Comments, questions, have anything random to say?