Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Why Having Kids Makes You Smarter...

I know I got your attention with that title; mainly because most evidence points to the contrary. I know having kids increased my pants' size, made my hair weird and annoyed my skin - not to mention may eventually cause me to become DIABETIC. So. Not terribly positive there eh?

Usually, I don't think about how raising my kids might INCREASE my IQ, since I have a lot of conversations that end up with me feeling confused and slightly challenged. Today, though, I realized that answering HARD questions in a GOOD way does force me to actually....think. I'm not saying I actually DID answer the following hard question in a good way, just that I tried...

Scene: Today, the meat aisle of The (dreaded) Grocery
Princess: Ew! That meat looks bloody! Is that blood?
Me: Um, sort of. (Double bagging the roast)
Princess: Well, it sort of looks like it comes from dead animals.
Me: Welllll, that's because it sort of DOES.
Princess: WHAT?! They can't just take knives and cut them apart!!!
Me: (fearing a PETA style rampage at the 5 year old level) Ummmm, you could be a vegetarian! They don't eat meat!
Princess: No, I don't want to do that. But I don't want to eat dead animals.
Me: Well, vegetarians don't eat meat.
Princess: They don't? Do we eat meat?
Me: (eying the chicken breast on sale) Well. I cook with it.
Princess: That's it. I'm going to be a vegetarian. And I'm moving to Egypt!
Me: Uhhh. Okay. (Overlooking the random Egypt reference) Well you'll have to eat beans. Vegetarians eat a lot of beans.
Princess: I don't like beans.
Me: Look! Fruit snacks! (walking quickly down a different aisle)

Sigh. See? I just wanted to buy the roast for my slow cooker (see also: love of my life) and instead I had to crush my little lady's faith in all animals being revered and cuddled and given crunchy food.

When she gets old enough, I'll tell her about how Mommy once gave money to PETA because they sent me an envelope full of what I now call "Sad Monkey Pictures". (Then they sent me a membership card.) I'm sure I can never work for any government agency because I was once on PETA's roster. (Goodbye dreams of a clippy badge and answering to 'Special Agent'!)

I don't honestly like meat much; I could live happily on Greek salads and cottage cheese (and probably really look like my hero!) BUT I cook for a family and sometimes, bitches, Hamburger Helper really DOES save the day. The reason this all made me smarter? I learned I SHOULD have said, No honey, that's just food coloring. Done and done.

Comments, questions, do you ban the meat?