Friday, January 22, 2010

Those Crazy Kids Today....

I have to add, right off the bat, that I'm not old. In fact, my mom is officially in her 60s, and SHE isn't old either! I mean, you cross that bridge into 80 and you might be slowing down some, then again, Hugh Hefner is about what, 562 years old and dating a different blonde toddler every month!

That being said, I simply cannot understand today's youth. By understand, I mean, literally when they talk I can't understand what they mean. Confused? Just wait.

Conversation I had today with my 19 year old stepdaughter:

Sassy: "He said we've only been talking for two weeks, but it's more like a month."
Me: "Talking? You mean dating."
Sassy: "No, talking."
Me: "Noooo, dating."
Sassy: "No, when you're dating, you're not talking to anyone else."
Me: "You mean when you're dating, you're dating exclusively?"
Sassy: "Yeah, that's dating."
Me: "But dating is a VERB, it means to go out on a date! You are DATING!"
Sassy: "Nah, we're just talking."
Me: "Is he talking to anyone else then?"
Sassy "I don't think so, I mean he's talking to other girls but not TALKING to them."
*crickets chirping*
Me: "Okayyyyy. So then when someone 'hooks up' that means sleeping together right?"
Sassy: "Yeah, we hooked up. Oh wait, I mean WE didn't hook up, but yeah, sleeping together once."
Me: "But if you're DATING and then sleeping together it's NOT hooking up?"
Sassy: "Right. Then you're just sleeping together."
Me: "I see."

Clearly, readers, I don't see. I don't see at all! What the hell has changed so much in ten years that talking now actually means dating, and dating really means seeing someone seriously, and hooking up actually means having a one-night stand?! Am I the only person who is confused?

See, back when I was young and frivolous and running around with an errant ten dollars in my pocket that was earmarked for a long-island pitcher, we used words that actually meant what they were saying. If we were talking to someone, it literally meant we were sharing air-space with words coming out of our mouth holes. If we were dating someone, it meant we were going on dates in a romantic fashion. If we were dating exclusively it meant there weren't any other people on the side. If we slept together, well, you get the point. And if you had one-night stands enough that you needed a euphemism, your friends sat you down for a talk.

Of course language evolves, but that usually means new words are created, not borrowed and distorted, just to confuse the oldsters.

I promised Sassy McTalking Pants that I would blog about this today, and so I have. She laughs at me and my confusion, mainly because we have similar conversations every time she talks about anyone she's dating/talking to/whatever.... I swear, I'm not that old, I just like words to make sense.

Ah the hell with it, maybe it's time to head for bingo and get some comfortable hot pink lounge pants.

Comments, questions, what confuses YOU?


Aunt Becky said...

Shit, TEXTING confuses me because it seems that calling someone would be a hell of a lot easier. Like it would just solve the problem more quickly than a whole lot of going back and forth. So, WTF texting?

Anonymous said...

haha I really enjoyed reading this one