Monday, January 4, 2010

Calgon Codeine, Take me Away......

Okay, for everyone old enough to remember those cheesy commercials, with ladies rolling around a foamy bath tub, OBVIOUSLY high on bubble fumes, I'm referring to the "Calgon Take me Away" line...

Only today, your regularly scheduled Sammo has been swept away on a tide of codeine. For which I am very very grateful. Dearest Reader-hearts, every month, my body is silly and thinks I am birthing a child I had no knowledge of conceiving; basically I writhe and froth in agony until someone notices and hands me a nice little pill my doctor has me take just for this SPECIAL occasion. Then, the magic of codeine and ibuprofen combined makes me feel a little less Lady in Labor, and I sit around, feeling fuzzy and staring at the walls.

Or I write semi-coherent blogs. Then, of course, I vacuum.

I spent half my day cleaning, waiting to see if my doctor would call the medicine in. It had taken me about a year to work my way through the first bottle, so I was pretty sure she hadn't pegged me as a Crazy Suburban Pill Mom, but I still feel weird asking for pain medicine. It's like I'd rather tough it out, until I realize (and this happens every time) that I am suffering for no reason. Then I take a pill and feel better - until next month. (Is it wrong to get excited about menopause? I mean sure, a few hot flashes, and random mood swings - but that describes my average week anyway.)

My doctor did phone it in and until there's a cure for monthly cramps, I guess I'll just keep on keepin' on. Or I'll figure out a way that men can suffer this fate, and I'm thinking a cure would come MUCH FASTER. (Seriously - if men felt this way it would be a PRIORITY, not a marketing plan. Who's with me!)

And....I'm sure I had something relevant to close with, but if you need me I'll be staring at my wall.

Comments, questions, codeine woes of your own?