Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Who's Wirless Now Beotch?!

Today, I write you to from the fair shore of the land of accomplishment! (I know right? Aren't you wishing you'd received my high-priced metaphor training???) Last night, after much struggle and toil (redundancies too!) I finally gave in and called tech support for my Brand New Wireless Router; after 20 minutes with a lovely robot from somewhere on the far side of the world, I am now wireless!

To be totally honest, it's actually my stepdaughter who is wireless, I am on my desktop swigging coffee, as you might expect.

It's totally wicked awesome though, because NOW if I want to blog to my minions about important things like Updates to My Christmas Village or Something New The Destroyer Ate That was Not a Food Item, I can do it without having to kick anyone off Facebook! (Granted, I'd still have to kick Princess off but one outta two ain't bad.)

Is anyone else from my elderly age bracket pretty secretly happy that Facebook was NOT invented when we went through high school and college? I mean, weren't those years traumatic special enough without having instant internet access to whomever got trashed at so-and-so's house and hooked up with so-and-so and is probably infected with scabies? Just the stuff I have seen the past few years is enough to make me fall to my knees and thank sweet Jesus that I'm old enough to remember the thrill of finally getting America Online!

Sneak out to meet someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? It's on Facebook twenty minutes after someone sees you two at Pizza Hut. Gain ten pounds since Thanksgiving? You're tagged in a picture with your muffin top spilling over your jeans. Get drunk on peach shnapps and puke all over your friend's couch? Immortalized in your friend's album AND shared! Sit around with a three-foot home made bong watching The Wall for five hours straight? Now your future (or current) boss/inlaws/Great Grammy Perkins can SEE it! In my day, we called such things EVIDENCE...


There were P L E N T Y of awkward years periods for your favorite writer, friends. (PS I am referring to myself, not that weird Mormon chick who wrote the tween vampire series. - That I also steadfastly refuse to read out of some weird covenant with myself and decent literature.)

I am just so glad that those awkward times were forever captured only in others' aging memories, and maybe a few pictures I burned.

Comments, questions, tech support or Facebook nightmares?