Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm baaaaaack!

We arrived from our semi-non-vacation relaxing retreat a few days ago, and have been running around ever since. We are clearly not known for our strategic planning; since it's a week or so before Christmas, we thought we'd spend a gift card, go to the zoo and paint the basement. Brilliant!

Obviously, now we have Christmas Stuff to finish. Like buying gifts. And sending cards. You know, that sort of thing. I also have to find enough spare time to run off and shop for The Man. He said not to buy him anything, but really? I mean, REALLY??? Who does THAT?! Women who don't want anything good for Valentine's, that's who. Or the Longaberger Women - mainly because they wrap up surplus baskets and hope their husbands don't notice...that they're....baskets. "Look honey! You can store all your Guns & Ammo magazines in there!" "OH that's GREAT honey!" (husband bitterly resenting the diamond 'mom' necklace he bought at the black Friday sale.)

But baskets and jewelry aren't how we roll here at Casa de Sammo. (Actually, we do roll with jewelry - I collect it the way some women collect creepy china cats.) I asked The Man what he wanted:

TM: Don't buy me anything. We spent enough money already.
Me: I'm going to get you SOMEthing. Seriously.
TM: Okay, get me that pipe for my bike. (A pipe means an exhaust system for his And they aren't cheap.)
Me: Yeah that's not going to happen.
TM: Okay, get me some fairings for my bike. (These are the suuuuuper pricey plastic parts that get smashed when one wrecks one's bike at a suuuuuper pricey track day. We'll just say. Hypothetically.)
Me: Mmmmm, no, you're not getting that either. I'll figure it out myself...

Which brings me to What to Get The Man for Christmas! He thinks he's really easy to shop for, but doesn't EVERYone think that? I mean, we all live in our own heads and say, "what do you MEAN I'm hard to shop for? I am so easy! I love pink scented beeswax candles, and Phillipa Gregory novels, but ONLY those about royalty and NOT that crappy series with the weird incest family, and everyone knows I love gourmet coffee and that I've wanted a Jillian Michaels poster forEVER!!!" And of course, no one but us knows these things! Or cares, frankly.

Yet when you live with someone, maybe you should figure out gifts on a semi-frequent basis without major direction, or sales ads left open with things circled. I like to think I'm an awesomely thoughtful gift-giver. (Then again, I also like to think I should be giving red carpet interviews and fending off the paparazzi.)

This year I'm a bit....stumped. Clothing is always possible, but he is very very very picky particular. Definitely not buying gold plated expensive bike parts, as much fun as paying for shipping on an Akropovic pipe might be. Hmmmm.

So here I am: a week before Christmas, presents to buy, wrap and otherwise deal with in some fashion. And I have no ideas! Normally, I'd have what I like to call a breakdown an "anxiety moment", but I think I'll just drink some more coffee and see what comes to me.

Next time, you may finally (let the applause commence!) read about the Bitchy German Luxury Car!

Comments, questions, gift ideas for the insanely selective?