Thursday, December 24, 2009

And to all a good night....

...because Mommy's had such a @#$@#$!Q@#$ day-before-Christmas that by the time ol' Christmas Eve rolls around, I'll probably be half tanked on fatigue and slightly lit by a strawberry daiquiri - Christmas-y red, with a bit of the whipped cream! Like a delicious rum-filled celebration in a cup.

Let me vent to you, dearest handful of faithful readers! Lend me your ear and all that.... Twas the day before Christmas and all through Sammo's house, not a creature was quiet, not even a mouse! I'd attempt more of this rhyme and try to PROVE that I was actually quite a decent free-verse-r once, but I'm EXHAUSTED mentally, physically, and pretty much any other adverb-y way you can imagine...

Yesterday, my mom's 10 year old dog died. The dog I'd helped convince my mom to rescue from a shelter in the halcyon days of college. Yeah. That's how I felt too. She had a massive spinal tumor and sudden paralysis; but it sucks giant turds when the KINDEST thing you can do for an animal is euthanasia. Two days before Christmas. When Santa was bringing a raw hide bone. Bullshit! I call bullshit on a universe that gives dogs bone cancer.

Last night, I couldn't sleep because not one, oh no, but BOTH kids woke up in the night. I slept fitfully if at all. I don't know if I have ever mentioned it but I am more fond of sleep than I am of rum references, sooooo. Yeah. Now, I am tired AND cursing the universe.

Then today, because really, it simply wouldn't be the holidays UNLESS.. there was massive interpersonal drama in my hiz-ouse. I'd like to tell you all about it, I would, but it's long, not terribly interesting, and since it's my life and I want to put a bullet in my head when I think about it, why torture YOU nice people? I'm a saint. Let me just take a minute to THANK MY PARENTS. Despite coming from a so-called "broken home" - it was by far the best, most loving, and above all respectful divorce I've ever seen. God knows NOW I know how lucky I was. Ahem. Moving on...

That about covers it really....sleep deprivation, a doggy who went to heaven (because don't you even START that shit about animals not having souls - I will track you down and beat you with a freaking two-by-four!) and then Baby Mama Drama (or something)... and you have Sammo's Awesome Holiday Joy!

And I really AM joyful chiclets. My children are amazing. My house is lovely. I have great hair. (Sorry, it slipped in.) My BFF-from-California is visiting in two days (two days!). My husband looks good shirtless and gives excellent back rubs. (Quit picturing him shirtless you shameless hussies!) My family is wonderful. Christmas is about, above all, love. LOVE. So I have joy, I have love. I also have great hair. (shut up! I can't help it.) So at least rejoice in my semi-coherent thankfulness list
and feeeeeel the looove. When you're done feelin' the love, pass the blender.

I wish you all the best - Merry Christmas.