Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Obligatory Defensive Justification Blog

Before the boring title sends you all back to Perez in a flurry of mouse clicking, I promise I'll liven it up. Crack! See, I just mentioned crack and you're all, what, is she ON crack, does she USE crack, why are we even talking about crack?! You're already hooked, read on....

I realized that I make a lot of joking references to rum, drinking, medication, etc and I know that some of my most favoritey-favorite bloggers (Mommy Wants Vodka, for instance) have run afoul of certain unimaginative retards people who really think that all the mommy bloggers are at home secretly getting drunk and busy drunk dialing, drunk blogging and drunk mommmy-ing. Of course there are people who jokingly mention substance use and actually do abuse substances. Sure there are. Just like there's the crazy guy I watched on Inside Edition last night who joked about being a possible serial killer. What can I say, some people use humor to downplay their issues.

Most (if not all) mommy bloggers who joke about such things are very tongue-in-cheek and not at all in need of Dr. Drew to whisk us off to Celebrity Rehab, although frankly, I could definitely use the break. (I hear rehab has some KILLER food and plenty of time to work out and enjoy therapy.)

Here's the thing: I know a lot of addicts. Most of us know some, whether we know it or not. Crazy right? Most addicts don't talk about drugs or alcohol because it's different with addiction, and unless they're talking to another addict, NON-addicts don't get it. I have a close relative who is an addict. Two people who stood up at my wedding are addicts. I dated an addict through college. Addiction runs in my family through various points. I am not an addict, but genetics say I could have been. (I do have some awesomely addictive tendencies: lock up your Cool Ranch Doritos because I will eat. the. entire. bag. I also vacuum obsessively because, shut up, I have to. And I can obsess about things until my head literally spins and I have an anxiety fit. I am not unscathed in the genetics lottery!)

I don't judge addicts, and I am always supportive of those I love who are in active recovery or working towards it. I don't mock their struggle by joking about doing a shot of rum. I want to be clear that I am mocking myself, my stress, and my coping ability. I actually am a very light drinker; a daiquiri or a girly beer is about it for me and I often go weeks without drinking anything. I have horrible cramps each month (life lottery winner!) and hesitate to take my prescription medication until I can't put up with the pain, because I don't like how the meds makes me feel. I am not a saint, I'm just not a substance abuser.

I grew up in a small, but liberal town in a mid-western state. For fun, you either did drugs or got knocked up. I did neither, which really whittled down the activity options for me. Most of my friends got high. I have a friend who was high on crack at her graduation. I didn't know it at the time, not until years later when another friend told me. She's now drug free and doing well. I went to a funeral of a friend of a friend who wasn't so lucky. He died after using heroin. I always said that his funeral was an anti-drug ad in itself.

I'm not trying to be all Debbie-Downer here, but I wanted to explain things in case I ever reach awesomely popular status and someone feels compelled to call me a drunk and question my parenting. Hey, you can question my parenting, but trust me, I make ALLLL my mistakes totally sober, thanks.

I hope you take my jokes in the spirit they are meant. I'm not a crack head, pill head or wino, but I know some, and they're good people too. I don't mean any offense to anyone. It's all just in good humor. And basically, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.


Aunt Becky said...

Don't you hate that you have to defend yourself? I do.

I never, I guess, thought I would have to defend myself. Always thought that people would, I dunno, see that it was a tongue in cheek thing about my blog.

Never really thought I'd get called out for it.

Goes to show you never can tell, eh?

Sammo said...

I just thought I'd be proactive - plus I can only imagine how literally people take things. That way, when I get more readership (someday!) I can refer back to this post! ;)

Ken said...

wait, you're NOT a crack head, pill head or wino?

damn. i don't feel as welcomed any more.