Monday, October 26, 2009

Why I am Secretly a Dude

Don't get all flustered now, I'm not really a HTM (hot tranny mess), I'm totally a chick. I'm just blessed with certain Dude Tendencies, granted me by certain Dude Genes. For instance the following: I would rather ride a sport bike than go shopping. I dislike chick flicks. If I am *forced* to watch a chick flick, and then cry thanks to my Womanly Genes, I throw things and froth at the mouth in violent hatred of that movie. You know I'm talking about you, The Notebook.. I have an intense dislike of Traditional Chick Music. (I could go on, but won't. It's not that interesting to me, and it's MY life...)

We watched Transformers: Rise of The Fallen this weekend and I was so excited! Explosions, giant robots, and fast cars. Here's an excerpt of my conversation with The Man during the movie:

Me: "I would cutabitch for a car like that."
The Man: "It's a Camero."
Me: "I know that."
The Man: "We could actually BUY that car."
Me: "Yeah, but it'd be a real car. Not an actual transforming robot."
The Man: Looks at me and blinks. He knows I'm special.

Furthermore, I was so thrilled to see sport bikes that turned into shooting robots that I clapped and laughed like I'm assuming some women do during chick flicks when the guy gets the girl or whatever happens in those movies. Sport bikes! Robots! Explosions! I want one soooo much it's hard to remind myself that there are no Ducatis that are sentient robots. I know, it's a hard truth. Frankly, it's actually FAR more likely that I find a robot-sport bike that can shoot things than Megan Fox ACTUALLY being able to ride a sport bike. Just sayin'.

(I hear she dies in the next movie! Sweet! Can I have her Duc'???)

I would also like to say that I would give up all diet sodas (shhhh, Jillian thinks I gave them up already and I don't want to let my pretend bff down!) AND not condition my hair for, like, DAYS if I could hang out with Bumblebee. I wish he were real with the intensity of The Destroyer wanting to own a bulldozer. THAT much.

I can also tell you that I am a real grown woman, who went to college and everything and I still love stuff like that. What does that make me? Clearly, part dude. Or just superfreakingcool. You pick.

Comments, questions, hot tranny messes?