Tuesday, September 15, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the yearrrrrr.....

By wonderful time, I mean, of course.... FALL and thus, naturally, Halloween. What, did you think I was delusional and hallucinating (again!) and talking about Christmas? Perish the thought! In fact, the mere thought of Christmas, what with the cards and gifts and debt and cold, cold slush which never fails to sink into my shoes.....*shudder*..... I can wait. Truly.

Halloween, on the other hand, offers a lot of bang for the holiday buck! No baking, no presents, and candy as far as the eye can see! Plus, and this is a biggie, it's the ONLY excuse grown adult women have to dress up like A. Fairies B. Hookers C. Fairy Hookers or D. All of the above. I can spend HOURS looking at costumes on the internet - in fact, I just did, which in turn inspired this post! You are lucky little devils aren't you? I'm so dedicated to my craft. (Heh. I have a craft. And this is IT. Yeahhhh.)

I saw all sorts of ideas for this year's mandatory costume bonanza! I could be a Sexy Geisha (what, as opposed to a frumpy fugly geisha? What'd be the point?) or I could be a Sexy Fairy or a Sexy Sparkle Witch or a Sexy Monarch Butterfly or.... well you get the idea. I'm pretty sure I've locked in my Sexy costume but I won't spoil it here - not with all the weeks we have left - I'm not taking chances on running into a copy catter at a party, no, I'll guard my Sexy costume choice with my very life!

Now, I could go the route of the funny - you know, funny joke couple costume. Riiiiiight. And there goes Captain America's chance to show his Adonis-like figure in a cool costume. Not blood'y likely! Plus, who enjoys dressing up like Mustard to your husband's Ketchup??? Nope. I'm sticking with Sexy Sparkle Magic Fairy Butterfly costumes all the way! A girl has to have some standards. And by standards I mean something that goes exclusively with fishnets (if not now, when I ask you, WHEN???) and stripper shoes. Or knee high boots - I mean, I AM flexible - knee high boots or stripper shoes, but that's it. Nothing sensible or flat allowed.

I'm excited to see what people pick this year - I mean how many Jon and Kate costumes will we see? There's no way I can do that blonde cow-lick thing she's got (and wigs? Fuggehdeaboudit. My hair escapes constraint ruthlessly.) and my John couldn't pull off short- pudgy -douche if he tried. Too bad this isn't the year of the Palin because glasses/up'do, THAT I could do. Or Octo-mom - I mean add a touch o' crazy look in the eyes, and strap eight babies to your waist and Bam! Insta-costume.

I'd rather just get RIDICULOUS though. 364 days a year? Responsible mom. ONE magical night? Sexy Tinkerbell Evil Goth Fairy! Woo! If you need me, I'm costume shopping.

Comments, questions, points for costume rebuttal....