Monday, September 14, 2009

Flannel Revolution

I'm a young adult - wait, can I say that? Is that term reserved for 20 year olds only? I mean 40 is the new 30 -totally - I heard that on tv so it has to be true, and if so, then 30 is clearly the new 20 right? So even if I'm an adult, in the technical term (meaning I can buy fabric softener, theoretically pay bills, and reproduce efficiently and with my parents' blessing) I'm still a young adult - right??? I digress. I'm an adult of young-ish age who grew up in the mid to late 90's. I grew up during a time when it wasn't just okay, it was outright COOL to wear old dirty clothes and oversize FLANNEL (wait for it kids) to SCHOOL. I know. Take a moment, I'll wait. Consult google or wikipedia to make sure I'm not just laughing at you from the comfort of my squishy massaging computer chair. See? Told ya so!

Back in the glory days when pale kids with dark hair didn't really know they were 'goth' (ahem - it's NOT my fault I have red-head skin and dark hair dammit!) we used to wear huge billowing flannel shirts and it was stylish! I have no idea how anyone managed to pull that off. Our pants were big too, if I remember correctly. The music, oh children, the music was sweet. Don't get out your candles and line up to make your Curt Cobain memorials just yet - I have no idea where I was when I heard he went all Hemingway on us, and my friends and I couldn't change the station fast enough when Teen Spirit came on. I did, however, rock out quite a bit to the Foo Fighters and everyone knows the lead singer was the drummer for Nirvana first. Right? Good, moving on....

I am pretty sure every generation is sure they had the best music, style, etc and with the CLEAR exception of the 80's (because really? leg warmers? And WHO the EF is bringing that BACK???! I would like them to partake of my deeleeceeous jell-o mold....) each generation has contributed to the world at large.

I bow deeply and humbly to the 60s and 70s; for creating Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix and Janis you have my undying gratitude.... but flannel my friends! Have you ever seen the like? I could wake up, put my hair up in a ponytail, throw on a flannel four sizes too big, sleep my way through government (I know the three branches, don't get judge-y!) and still be considered totally ready for a social event! It was called Grunge kids, doesn't that just say it all?

Our clothes were grungy, our music was grungy, we could lie around being grungy, listening to other grunge-s singing about their grungy lives and all was right with the world! Our rock stars were REAL rock stars by God. They were skinny and dirty, wore sunglasses all day long because they were totally gorked out on The Heroin, and they were in and out of rehab. Just the way I like my rock stars! Please keep your fresh as a daisy Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swifts, etc etc - I prefer my rock idols actually to rock in the music form, wear leather in some way, and spend copious amounts of money on drugs I would never, ever do. Furthermore, they should write really obscure and confusing song lyrics about these drugs that I can puzzle over. Oh you'd like an example Children of the Pop Era? Why sure!

How about an STP song, circa 1996 or so..... "Too much trippin' and my sole's (soul's) worn thin" - ah ha!!! Trippin? Is he talking about literally falling and wearing out his shoes? I think not! It's a beautiful example of a metaphor. A metaphor kids - listen up in English class because you won't hear one on the radio these days. No no, our dear friend Scott is telling you about TRIPPING and his SOUL is wearing thin. Ahhhhh, grunge music, you never let me down.

No today's music has only led us down the path of low-rise jeans and stripper shoes; not that I don't own a pair of both or anything, but I wish I could still rock the fashion wearing plaid oh-so-fuzzy flannel. It's the only hella-sweet music-fashion trend that made looking homeless cool. I guess though, if they can bring back neon, leg warmers and the side ponytail (still waiting for color change shirts and the slap bracelet) they can bring back the Flannel Revolution.

If anyone needs me I'm listening to Dead and Bloated (seriously - you just don't get song titles like that anymore) and wearing yesterday's jeans. :)