Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The regularly scheduled blog was pre-empted

I knew exactly what I wanted to blog about today, but given that today has started with a ripe old dose of crap-in-my-face first thing this morning, I'm going to probably ramble incoherently and add a few hostile bits. Such is life.

My dog is having issues. He's a huge dog, and huge dogs, alas, do not typically have long life spans. The average English Mastiff lives about 10 years IF they're healthy and lucky. Apollo is 9 and doing pretty well, until this week apparently. I guess if he'd been some annoying yorkie-poo-hua hua or whatever they're blending up genetically these days, he'd live forever. I don't know what's bugging him, but he is sleeping in the laundry room on the floor which is very atypical and I'm waiting for the vet's office to open. He's been up pacing the last two nights and randomly yelping as if in pain. I am hoping to take him in later today and withOUT the children of the corn thanks. Last time I just had Mason and between trying to get my elderly huge dog out of the car and keep my 2 year old from eating the dog cookies, it wasn't my finest afternoon.

Then my husband announced this morning that my left-over -from -yesterday -coffee mug had spilled in the bathroom. Notice the use of passive voice my friendly bloggies? If you aren't familiar with that all-time-Sammo-favorite of the writing world, passive voice is when you don't use an active pronoun thingymabober, hence the "coffee spilled" instead of "I'm a huge jackass who lumbers around the bathroom in a haze and *I* dumped old coffee all over your contact lens case." This concludes our lecture on passive voice.

I guess I could have taken my old coffee cup downstairs yesterday but I was a leeeeeetle busy keeping up with the two kids, working on my side job (see also: NOT writing which is something I enjoy but something for real actual money), and cleaning up my house. I forgot. Forgive me. So I had to clean up (or RE-clean) the coffee spill since The Man's (and by that I don't mean THE man, as in Down with THE man! Just my husband) idea of cleaning it up was to throw a towel in the general direction of the coffee flood. Errrrr.

Then Jerry the Wonder Turd added that he would not, in fact, be attending the literature lecture thing that we'd planned to go to for a MONTH because oh no, he has only TWO days to get the bike ready for the race and words words words, yeah I stopped listening because I was busy contemplating ways to bury his body (and my coffee mug) in the woods behind my house. Whatever. What. Ev. ER! Guess I'll go by myself, which yes bloggies, is an option, but I don't LIKE going places by myself. I'm an extrovert and I like going places with people and sure, sure I might be a trifle neurotic (about this as well as flying insects and my weight for anyone keeping track) but jimmy crack corn and Sam doesn't give a shit. I'll file this irritation under "The Man Needs Help Recognizing Priorities" and by priorities, I mean what I want him to do. Yeah. I said it.

So far that's pretty much all I can get into without baring the seething wrath boiling within my skull for myriad other reasons. I can make a fun list after a colon: vet, husband, refinancing, changing insurance, bills, unpaid bills, work....... errrrrrrrrrr. On it goes. Back to the light-hearted and the funny some other day me hearties.

Comments, questions, points of rebuttal?