Monday, August 24, 2009

I am pro-fanity

I was reading my favorite blog the other day (http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/) and she asked if her readers were bothered by curse words in her blog. Heck to the no, I thought! Why you ask? Because I am pro-fanity! Get it? I know, I'm so hilarious.

It's always bothered me that profanity gets such a bad rap, mainly because I am such a language lover. I love the history of words, the fluidity of words, finding out which words mutated from other words. In the end, be it 'fabulous' or a different 'f' word, they're all just invented by people trying to express thoughts and feelings.

Another thing that bothers me is when people obviously less superior than I (read that with a touch of both facetiousness and disdain) say things like "people who use profanity are making up for a limited vocabulary." Oh ho dee ho har har. I think not. I have a vocabulary to kick any language category's ass on Jeopardy - no bragging, it's just my thing. You might be 6' tall and rock out at Guitar Hero, hey, we are all different! I like words and use a lot of them, and know a lot of them. I don't use profanity because I DON'T know other words, I use profanity because it fits whatever situation at the given time.

My husband works in a male-dominated industry and he really hates hearing women swear; apparently he would like to come home to me smiling and baking and wearing an apron while making a nice green jell-o mold dessert. Well, tough titty I say. If I drop a brick on my foot, or clean up an Exxon Valdez sized puddle of we'll just say Wesson Vegetable Oil (hypothetically of course) from my new-not-even-paid-for-carpet, well, you might want to use the hand ear muffs m'kay? FYI, I haven't dropped a brick on my foot recently, but the Wesson Oil thing.... yeah that was another 'project' of The Destroyer.

My husband will also say things like "well if it doesn't bother you, you should talk that way in church." Huh? Yeah I can't really picture me telling the senior pastor, "Hellz yeah, that sermon kicked my ass!" I *do* understand the whole appropriate-ness of the profanity thing. I TRY really hard not to curse in front of my children. I don't break it off at church, or family gatherings or even in front of my dad (oh no I don't because some lessons remain deep in the old psyche even into my elder age) and I know which friends are fine with it (almost all) and which aren't....(hmmmm, I'm hearing crickets here).

Not to mention it's really hella-hard to take what I'll generously term 'constructive' criticism from a guy who talks on his Crackberry like he's auditioning for a role in Goodfellas 2 (oh sweet heavens if Scorsese would ever make THAT movie.... awwwww yeahhhhh!). Just sayin'.

So, there it is. I don't find profanity to be a major character flaw; unless of course you're not smart enough to be self-aware about it. Being dumb is really my only benchmark for discrimination. That's right, rich or poor, black or white or anything else, if you're smart you and I can be cool. If you're dumb.......ehhhhh. I'm not saying uneducated, because THAT can be remedied, I'm saying straight up stupid. As Ron White the comedian says, you can't fix stupid. Fuck yeah I agree with that!

Comments, questions, points of rebuttal....

2 comments:

Nel said...

FUCK YEAH! Cussing is the shit!

:) Couldn't agree more.

Sammo said...

Thanks - it's sort of like conversation Season-all - sprinkle it on for taste!